Deep Breath Choka (with apologies to Deepak Chopra)

Hear mi when mi tell yuh fi CAREFUL wha yuh ask fa!!!
WOI Mighty Fada!

Mi seh!  Mi siddung a brainstorm wah mi cudda blog seh, afta 'rall mi go promise few a mi readers seh mi did aggo blog specifically fi dem.  So mi pray a likkle prayer fi come into a nice, light, humorous experience fi share.

It occurred about midday.  It involved my having to interface with someone for 45 minutes in an enclosed air-conditioned area.  All was well on our greeting TILL fireman opin(open) 'im mout'.
ROOTUS SKLOOTUS!!!!! FRAM AH BAWN!!!!!!!!!
No sah! Mi nearly mad!!!!!
Mi yeye staat wata same time.
No!  Why? Eeh? Cho man!  So...... Hmph!
Dis man an 'im breath need a whole continent!!
After a few minutes I started to suffer a more-than-mild headache.  The air was brown, thick and foggy-maybe a desso mi staat fi hallucinate.  The session was very brief, to the point, direct!  I was not my usual humorous self.

Check this  lesson- we are responsible not only for ourselves but for others' comfort(to an extent) while they're around us.  We must present our best selves especially hygiene-wise.

All now mi pressure still raise and I'm honestly nauseated and feel an uncharacteristic pressure in the back of my head.  Mi do everyting inna 20 minutes, lest unuh wudda did haffi scrape mi carcass from outta di office.
Then yuh know it bad when yuh fraid fi open yuh owna mout' 'cause yuh tink it ketchin, like seh it jus aggo cleave to yuh tongue.  I had to air out di office for a considerable amount of time.  Oye!  Mi all leff mi mout' fi jus heng open so dat any stubban particles wudda flee mi system(awrite maybe not ).

Let's live for each other please!

I am your waiting-to-exhale Jodi!

Home is where the heart is

Only quite recently has the phrase "Home is where the heart is" had significant meaning to me.  I heard it oft times being repeated but never paid any attention to it.
As I sat in a bus on my way to wherever I was on my way to(hol' on deh, how unoo so faas?), the following thought developed in my mind.
I thought of a sermon I'd heard recently of how home represents a place of solace, peace, rest, comfort, shelter and relaxation.  I pondered many experiences I'd had  and how unsettled I'd been.
I reviewed friendships I'd had and how amidst the many acquaintances I had entertained in some way or form, there were only very very few with whom my soul found absolute rest.
I challenged my system of beliefs and found it to fall short of tenets that would yield more health and vitality.
I looked into everything and questioned myself honestly, "Am I at home?" "Have I found MY peace?" "Is my soul at rest?" "Does my heart and I dwell at the same address?"
Living takes the life out of you.  It is demanding.  Am I wearing a front, and if so, do I wear it so often that I've lost touch with who I really am?
Home.  I long for home-a spiritual place where I am undisturbed, where I am unmolested, where my thoughts, words and actions are congruent, a place where I am whole.
I encourage us to take whatever steps that may be necessary in order to find your way home.  You may have to lose associations that you thought were impossible to sever ties with-family members, friends, co-workers, church family.  It may mean you may have to connect with an entirely new support system or none at all.  It could mean a season of alone time.  In any case, 'home' must be sought with all the diligence that can be mustered.

I read of a story where a man had married a wonderful woman.  She was developed in every way imaginable.  She was smart, focused, had a booming career, did all her wifely duties with distinction and on top of that was incredibly attractive.  He cheated.  In spite of all that, he cheated with someone in no wise comparable to his wife.  When asked why he'd ever concede to do something so ghastly, he simply responded that he could be himself around this half-witted woman who was anxious to hear his stories and his ideas.  She listened in awe as he shared his hopes and dreams for the future.  She had no college degree, she was not industrious, she was not bright but she had the graces that brought him 'home'.
I am not justifying cheating nor am I glorifying the motives behind vices, this ought however to be taken into consideration, that we all have an intrinsic desire to be loved, accepted, honoured, admired, and welcomed into fellowship.  This provides an insight into why many do the things onlookers view as absurd.

People sometimes lead reckless lives in search of 'home'-searching for a place to belong.  It may lead some down the futile and fruitless road of promiscuity or addictions of varying sorts.  When we fail to come into that union of heart and home it sends us in an erratic chase to fill the void with meaningless activities.  These activities may not even appear to be meaningless; they may take the form of church responsibilities, jobs, get the drift?  They're meaningless when they don't meet the intended purpose but is used as a cover which does not yield satisfaction or fulfillment.  They're meaningful only when they add purpose and direction and bring us in union with ourselves.

My prayer for us all is that we journey home.  We do not need to sell ourselves short or compromise in order to be accepted.  Home is where you should feel secure.  By now you know that home is not necessarily a physical place, but a place of security, protection, beauty, realness, truth and soulfulness.  There's no need for make-up or the ritualistic observance of protocols.  It's a place of you-safe, happy and complete.

To all my blog readers who have contributed to my life in such a way as to make me feel at 'home', I say THANK YOU!

You are valued and appreciated...

I am your Jodi

The Problem of a Testimony

"Look what the Lord has done!"

There are as many claims of the miraculous working of the Heavenly Father in human affairs as there are grains of sand on the seashore.  Stories range from being mildly humourous to out-rightly jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring and incredible.  Even spurious tales are rendered, raising an eyebrow or two.
What is undeniable though is that people have attested to the manifested works of a being greater than themselves taking an active role in rectifying  difficult/well-nigh impossible situations.

I will confess that testimonies are heartening and even entertaining at times; they inspire hope and courage.  There are times I go to scripture for a somewhat tarot experience(nuh badda come gwaan like a me one), that is,  I go looking for something in scripture that will pacify my fears and grant me the assurance that all will be well. This, of course, stems from uncertainty about the future.
I treat with my devotionals in a similar way.  At one point I noticed that my dependence on them made them out to be some sort of Christian horoscope.  What was related in the word that day would have, to a large extent, determined my expectation for that particular day.  I now see that as a very dangerous practice.
See, what is right for me, may not be the prescribed course for you and vice versa.
It is quite true that God works in mysterious ways; not only is it mysterious but it is varied.   The variety in nature indicates the plethora of creative ways in which God moves.  His service to us(mankind) is highly individualized.  It is wise also to note that each person's circumstance is fundamentally different.
 For example, we may need money for tertiary education(perhaps advanced studies)-for one God may soften the hearts of the persons in the finance department so that they exercise sensitivity towards the situation.  For another, He may lay the burden on the heart of a family member to cover the payments while yet to another He may unload a financial package from the sky or in a bin somewhere, to another He may provide an excellent work-study opportunity as well He may just facilitate the approval of good ole' student loan.  For me, He gave my father the strength and wisdom to work to pay my fees.  It is really dependent on what God is aiming to achieve in your life-the lessons He's tailor-made to instruct you, for some it's faith, to others industry etc.
Note, there are no identical stories in the Biblical of God executing His might; it's always different.  There are some irreconcilable tales that bear a questionable mark-
Rahab http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Joshua+2&version=NIV
Jael http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges+4&version=NIV and
Jehu http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Kings+9&version=NIV
are among my favourite examples.

So anyhow, *clears throat*, dis lady aggo see mi inna mi jewelry(heh-hey) an' aggo start fi share wid mi 'bout how when she did young like me, she did turn back(backslide) too.
TUN BACK? Go weh? Who seh ME TUN BACK???
Ah cudda drop dung!
Mi dis waa tell har seh, " Lady, yuh testimony naw connec', it nuh line up none 'tall!"
She bore her story telling of her struggles-none of which I could relate to.

When I told her what my struggle was, she assured me that it was not the case AND she was vehement in her stance too.  She went on the relate to me of what my struggleS truly were.  This was a highly informative session because I had not known of the weaknesses she had diagnosed( and still can't quite identify those things).  I left bewildered.  I was neither ennobled nor lifted by her testimony.
It reconfirmed to me that people really do judge you based on their lifestyle-it's their only point of reference.
Aye sah!

The gist of a testimony is what is important-the general lesson.  God provides, He heals etc.  How He'll do it, when, or even if He'll do it for you, is another story.
Testimonies give us a chance to share in each other's life experience but to an extent.

Call: Praise the Lord church?
Response: Praise the Lord!
Call: God is good?
Response: All the time!
Call: And all the time?
Response: God is good!

Continue to pray for me as I continue to pray for you.....

I am your faithful Jodi

Peace

It's new dawn...it's a new day!

Gosh, have I been missing in action.  I've had so many ideas for posts but then life takes place and that's the end of that.

As I pang away at the keyboard, I know not what I will come up with but I'm just typing away none-the-less pretty much like my life at present, there's so much that's happening-mostly disordered crazy shiz and most times it takes a concentrated, deliberate effort to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
There is a time and season for everything under the sun.  This is my season for shedding, renewal, growth, searching, finding, testing, reviewing  and introspection.  This process is by no means easy.  It's rather undesirable but is an absolute necessity for my development.
There's more to life than humour, more to it than joy, more to it than peace and even more to it than love.  It is the opposition that yields the resistance we need in order to develop virtues.
I wished it were easy to escape this season but just similar to an experience I had  when in primary school it cannot be side-stepped or avoided.  Some public health nurses had RANDOMLY dropped by to provide immunization. Had this information been communicated to me in advance I would have been unavoidably absent on the day in question.  Now as a Jamaican, I admit to loving 'free' things BUT.......uh-uh.  I hid myself, thinking I'd escaped the fools only to be cornered by some sadistic teacher who grinned with total satisfaction on having me secure in her unwelcome grasp.  I cried and demonstrated theatrics befitting an Emmy award, but di darn people jus' leggo di neegle(needle) unda mi flesh.  I wailed in absolute displeasure-not so much because of the pain, because admittedly, it was quite short-lived but what ached me most was being in a situation I had no control over, having had to submit to measures of disease control I deemed unnecessary.  I hated the chucked up room, the smell, the way each child was thrust into this experience one by one-namelessly-just the callous announcement of "NEXT".  It was void of the personal care and attention and the after-event comfort that I would have wanted.
Years later I realize, Hun, that's life.  You don't get to choose when, how or what kind of blow is dealt to you.  Be assured of this though-it's for your benefit.  Time will heal.  You'll look back at this season and laugh.  There is merit in engaging this season, dark though it may be to discover important life lessons.  Let it help you determine standards and protocols.  Let it reaffirm faith in God and in yourself.
Cry if you must now, cuz it's just a season boo.  Just a season.  This too shall pass.

I release all that I've lost.
I open myself to receive all that I'll gain.
Thank you!

Summer's coming guys-new season ahead!

Touch your neighbour say-BATHING SUIT!!!

Don't allow any situation to get you down-stay afloat!

See you at the beach!

I am your Jodi!!!
MWAH!

Top 10 Transportation Woes

The following is by no means an exhaustive list of my peeves related to the transportation system here in Jamaica.  This is simply a reflection of the most annoying grievances-my top 10.

1. Turn-offs(going a little off route) when I'm late.  The taxi men usually request the turn-offs just before the turn-not initially before they start the ignition-right before they make the swing into wonderland! UGH!
2. No change.  Hear dem, "Babes, mi jus come pon di route enuh".  Dem tink me can go short di nex driva?  Bout, "Mi can owe yuh?" Hiss teeth. Steups. Whatever yuh waa call it, mi VEX!!!!
3. Passengers who disembark before the designated stop and take a while to dig into pockets or knee-deep bags to find the money-usually of the large denominator sort, while the taxi is parked in the middle of the road and I'm late(again).  The taxi man of course nuh have no change-refer to number 2 an haffi go mek a spin at a gas station to get di change(WHILE MI LATE).
4. I hate when you have an overcrowded taxi i.e. three large bodies in the back squishing my body into sausage, then a mawga gyal cotch up inna di front wid har false hair, nails, yeye lash like seh she hot, an jus a stare stare pon harself when people tripe a turn inna salami. 
5. Oh the pick-ups!! Always when I'm late.  The taxi men stop here, there and every where. Even when the people waving frantically seh NO, dem not coming, dem still a stop. CHO MAN!
6. Is there a secret rapture for cross-seats?  Please say yes!
7. What of getting gas on the route?  WHY???
8. Police man, nuh badda wid di spot check now man, mi late!!!!  Do dat when mi nuh have agenda, like um........,uh......... CHO MAN!
9. Traffic owing to faasing.  People jus haffi slow dung fi see wha jus happen! Mi naw seh yuh nuffi concerned but....people late man!
10. Den, who love when yuh siddung pon di cross-seat or yuh in between dat special sandwich we mentioned earlier of two sizeables  an yuh leg dem cramp up so till yuh cyaah even step off when yuh alight from di vehicle.  Yuh jus' halt so.  Man dem yah ting yah mek my nerves dem tan up.

It would be nice to hear a few of your transportation woes.

Comment section below please.

Now, in-house stuff, many of you have indicated to me that you have been having difficulties commenting.  Please sign in using your google mail(gmail account), yahoo mail account, or twitter account.  Hope it works!!!

Anyhow....ta-tah!

I am your Jodi :-)

What a gwaan?

"Dis lang time now mi nuh see yuh, come mek wi walk an talk"-Heh-HEY!!!!!!

Whaapen putuses?
Mi miss unuh BAD BAD!

No, mi naw go tell unuh wha a gwaan inna mi life-unoo too faas-a joke yaw!  Y'all know I'm weak to you! Cho!

So mi board a taxi one day laas week, an tek in likkle Christian music offa one CD marked "Natural gospel".  Mi raise mi yeye brow, but den everyting inna Ja is natural: spring water, bag juice, KFC, fowl pill, skin bleach, padded panties (yielding di cock bottom effect), 'tall' hair, yeye lash, finganail, everyting!

Reach a mi destination an siddung fi do mi food handler's training.  Mi learn likkle sinting yes like:

• Yuh nuffi wash rice wid soap caw rat pee-pee pon di side a di rice bag an yuh a try fi salvage di res' a yuh stock
• Clarendon and Westmoreland has the highest incidence of Typhoid fever.(Dem nasty-BAD)
• Fab nuffi wash plate caw di chemical dem too harsh and can cause allergic reaction in some individuals (mi naw seh a dat mek yuh a choke, but go easy pon di Sud-Sud)
• Don't wash yuh aprons inna di cooking pot
• If yuh have discahrge coming from outta yuh yeye, ears or nose, yuh nuffi deh roun' a stove (NO COMMENT

Den one ooman siddung an a buss pure laugh TILL di  traina ooman gi out, "Gentlemen, please be advised to wear a beard guard while in the foodservice facility".  Nobaddy else inna di training never have no beard excep' SHE-an is a full plush beard she have too enuh-full a body, jus want a wash an set fi gi it di bounce weh di girl inna di Pantene Pro-V advertisement dem have.

So now mi a head home afta an eventful day.  Little did I know, dah one yah wudda tek di cake!  Hear dis, yes,hear-one dumb man pon di bus a look mi! Him nuh stop jook jook mi inna mi back.  Den him a mek all kinds of gestures weh mi fail fi understand.  Someting like seh him waa carry mi go pon a plane-mark yuh, is a 'ductor bwoy; an den mi aggo live inna farrin wid him weh him have all a him money.  Really?  Mi know seh mi wig never set straight pon mi head, but a so mi look like claffy???  You tell mi dis!!!  Den afta all a dat, him aggo have di nerve fi ask fi mi numba!!!!!  Mista SIR!  How mi aggo hear wah yuh a seh to mi if yuh cyaah talk?  Wah is di purpose of di exchange of numbas.  Mi dis bail offa di bus at first opportunity.

AYE!

Life is great!!!  Mek wi tek time out fi enjoy di simple pleasures.  They add value to our lives.

Tek care sweeties!

I am your long-lost Jodi

New Season!!!

Change doesn't always come easy.  There are the occasional pin-pricks that accompany the unfamiliarity of a new experience.  Hey, part of life eh?
My encouragement for those of us embarking on a new journey is to enjoy the ride to the MAX!!!
Seasons come, seasons go.  Don't clutch to experiences with such tenacity that its dynamic nature is stifled.  Let go and let live! Learn to recognize the signs of a changing season-it may be a chilly atmosphere, an unfamiliar coldness or conversely, uncustomary heat, it may manifest in falling leaves or the bountiful springing of greenery-make the application to your life.  Whatever the season is, beauty is sure to accompany.
If in your transition between seasons you experienced a lil' bit o' pain- there is a promise of healing.

If not, walk out in victory!!!
Whatever the case, make sure you've learned from the experiences, make sure you're growing and evolving into a more perfect you!

You know I'm yours....

I am your Jodi, for this season AND beyond!

Jodi? Stop hallarin' out mi name!

Mi seh!
Mi lie dung inna mi room afta a nice likkle bath, cock up mi foot dem and den mi hear it.
Jodi?
Jodi???
JODI!!!!
Di likkle neighbour bwoy of no more dan 2 years old nuh stop call mi.  Him madda she jus a prompt di poor ting bout, call har, "Jodi?" an him a falla in obedience-ah waah tell di pickeny seh, "In di Lawd mi chile, obey yuh madda in di Lawd!"
Him gi mi a likkle break-all dis while mi a seh to miself seh a hope mi phone nuh ring so dem know seh mi inna mi room.
Hear di stubban pickeney again bou', JODI! A waah bawl out seh, Mi a doodoo! CHO!
But mi couldn't do it caw mi didda read mi Bible, so fi buss dat deh lie deh wud have been counter-productive( and incredibly ghetto).
Mi neh ansa him tho cause once yuh do is a habit fi life. Yessideh dem ketch mi when mi a rake.
Di persistent pickney staat halla again.  Mi laugh to miself an seh," Mi rake fram 12 o'clock tideh, yuh lucky, yuh NAA ketch mi again!"

Mi remember mi odda likkle neighba bout 4 years old when him staat fi sing di "Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken batty outta door" song.
Hear him,
 "Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken NECK outta door"
"Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken HEAD outta door"
"Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken NOSE outta door"-hear mi a bawl out a intarup di bwoy chune-"Chicken beak-a beak-nuh nose"
Him neva hear mi so him continue,
"Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken BELLY outta door"
Di likke feisty bwoy know seh him aggo buss di bad wud now.  Him staat fi gadda him madda attention now.
Hear yah,
"Mammy, Mammy, RAIN A FALL, BREEZE A BLOW, CHICKEN BATTY OUTTA DOOR"
Him repeat dah one deh bout five times.  Mi deh deh a laugh off mi face.
Him go on fi sing bout di chicken toe an foot dem-"real black man-love Chicken eeh?", mi seh to miself.
Mi get a jolt back to reality when mi hear di lilly 2 year old bwoy a gi out one desperate cry once again-"JODIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"

Ah naw go cope-mi aggo move.
Mi a pack!
Later!

oh yes!
I am your Jodi!(not his)

Shop'n in 'Madman'hattan!

Out and about on a beautiful January morning, I see it!!!  My eyes make contact with a spectacle of beauty, loveliness, and delicate ecstasy, why, this has to be the most exquisite dress I'd ever laid eyes on. [Insert holy glow.]   I immediately snap out of the LSD-like high when I see the surroundings in which this gem lay.
The unofficial store, like the true church of God, has no windows or doors, for truly the church is the people and the store is...well...the raw bawn clothes-some heng up pon some rusty hanga and di oddas jus lih dung pon one t'in piece a plastic pon di grung.  An dis grung is no ordinary grung, dis is dutty grung-yes, yes all grung was created equal yuh might say but dah one yah deh cross from a dutty KFC-ahhhhh yuh get mi now.
Mi almos' drap dung inna one ditch a stare pon di frack.
I wanted to go over for a closer look but mi neh waah nobaddy spot mi a go line up ova dat deh filthy, t'inking place deh.  Unnu nuh understan' enuh-the clothes were second hand looking and  look like seh dem get rejected from our local Food for the Poor or Salvation Army-dem.did.tan.bad..  The clothes were hung on a fence in a wholly dilapidated area.
After the generous secretion of my pride hormone(pridefrinephrine) wore off, I mustered the courage to approach the unestablished establishment and engage what looked like the owner of the merchandise.  I maintained good distance as this eager salesman seemed to be of less than a fully sound mind(diplomatic skills increasing-woo Jo!)
He enthusiastically showed me his goods, which he assured me were of excellent quality.  I looked at the clothing and my fears were confirmed, dem look wussa dan ol' claat, dem deh look like wah yuh use clean yuh winda an furniture BUT when mi look pon di dress weh did ketch mi yeye...mi almos' ketch inna spirit in front a KFC(dash in likkle tongues an shake yuh uppa baddy vigoroulsy-under a sheet-yeah-spirit!)
Mi did kinda concerned tho, cause di clothes dem looked tattered and worn an mi neva aggo buy nobaddy poop-inna.  But den a ray of light descend from heaven an claat what I would later recognise as a TAG! Wha yuh seh? Mi seh a TAG meaning never-before-worn.  Nuh badda refute it, yuh too badmind-the tag was legit!
Mi seh a let out a squeal of delight and it was sold-to me-the highest bidder!!!!  An mi get ih frack fi likkle an nuttin too enuh.  'Pose yuh see how di frack nice-vintage at dat!!! Glad.bag.buss.and.nasty.up.di.place!!!  No mi naw post no pics fi unnu come bright unnu self when unnu see mi a rock out mi frack! Eh-eh!

So I wondered to myself, do I miss out on excellent opportunities, finds, chances to love, the general beauty of life because of my own preconceived notion of what it should look like, from whence it should emanate, the standard that it should bear?  Why did it take me a trip around the world and back to figure out that this is really what I wanted?  Why was I ashamed to be seen in the hogpen harbadashery but not ashamed to rock the dress? Why did I feel to deny how I secured this fabulous find? Am I this way with other things in life-with my origin, with people, certain experiences that I'm ashamed to share?  Thing is, we embrace the beauty, we must embrace the shame.  We ought to accept and own every part of our life experiences.  Never be ashamed of who you are.  Had I bought this piece for an incredibly marked up price at some fancy named place I would have wanted to share it with the world.  Oh! we say, but we are not defined by our experiences! Yes we are! And I learnt this about myself-I'm all things.  I will not be daunted by society's pressures to conform to their reality.  I will be true to me, and in so doing represent the freedom and detachment from people's expectations that should be characteristic of my life.
Madman! I salute you, you contributed to my life!  Big up yuh store-less store-yuh ting a shat!

Guess wha nuh? When mi google di brand- ah one top-a-di-line French company mek it enuh! and den memba seh there was no changing room enuh so yuh a buy pon so-so faith!!! Di frack fit mi like a glove.  Was made just for me! A bayyyyy!!!

Open yuhself to di expanse of di universe.  Never limit yourself.  There is beauty ALL around AND in the most unexpected places.

Much love ma peops!

I am your Jodi!

Liva (Liver) Lip

If any body eva call yuh liva lip-a nuh good sinting!!!!  Liva lip alludes to heavily endowed lips that lack characteristic appeal.  No! Nobaddy neva yet bright demself fi call mine dem dat!

I'm not here to present a discourse on large, unshapely lips, I'm here to discuss a different type of liva lip.  This concept takes the word liver from a different perspective, as in, something/someone that lives deliberately and unapologetically. I'm speaking to harnessing the power of the tongue, nay, lips, to create life!
Made in the image of God, we're capable of speaking worlds into existence.
This is an encouragement to us all to use our lips to create the life we envision for ourselves.  Speak life.

I am still your Jodi.

Kisses

Almost died at my funeral

Shall we gather at the river.......
Chune!

Recalling my youthful childhood days, I marvel at the person I've become.  I'm not half as reticent as I used to be, I'm far more vocal and more free in expressing a passionate stance.  I've grown some.... I'm more open to taking risks and have turned deeper within-I'm somewhat of a loner for those who don't know.  I've developed more confidence in myself and the ability vested in all God's children to 'get back up again', some call it the resilience factor, my devotional today calls it the 'iron will'.

Certain experiences in life have contributed to the restructuring of certain parts of me, I'm more aggressive, can tend to be less trusting and believing.  I'm more calculated in my movements-still very much spontaneous, but I'm more choosy decisive in living out my voracious appetite for freedom.  Freedom is perhaps one of the most important tenets to which I subscribe.  Any threat to my freedom is a threat to my life.

An infringement on a person's freedom of speech, movement, choice and being is 'anti-good'.  God Himself respects our freedom of choice.  Removing that from mankind is transforming free moral agents into robots.  This is lifeless existence.

I died-almost.  For a brief moment I succumbed to the desires of them who needed me to walk a path void of passion and freedom.

I cried a tear-less cry, because it felt unnatural and I was incapable of experiencing any joy.

I cried harder because I could not accept that I had just rid myself of my God-given faculty.

I climbed out of that coffin prepared for me by those desiring my captivity.  I stopped crying.  I laughed at the previously joyful mourners who subsequent to my escape wept bitterly.

A new resolve.

No! I'm not living for anybody-I'm pleasing my God firstly then me/

Living ma life like it's golden....

I'm yours baby!!!! I am your Jodi!

Seasoning Greetings!

Hey guys!!!!

Long time mi nuh pos' eeh?

Well, mi jus drop een tideh fi bless all a oonu UP!

Seasoning greetings to all my spicy folk-all ma paprikas, pimentos, gingers, gyawlicks, onions an' scotch bonnet peops!

You all have enriched my life, just by stopping by to extend your ears to my tales.

I love and appreciate you all!

Thanks for the support and may this season yield uncommon favour and supernatural blessings!

You are mine, and I am yours, your Jodi, now and forever.  Forever? Forever!

Toodles....

Dip inna di healin' stream

Mi SEH!!!

Mi haffi get dis offa mi ches' but it neva safe fi approach di page while mi did still bex.  A pure indecent tings didda crass mi mind!
Afta mi leff mi yaad come a country in seek of wuk, mi come fi hear seh, nuttin naw go gwaan!!!!!
Eeh?
Mi waah bawl an cuss an lif' up mi frack simultaneously.  Mi cyaah deal wid suh much gyawbage.  Come een like mi ha' one sign heng pon mi farrid mark"City Dump".  Mi tell one a mi fren dem seh me is a qualified, certified laughing stock.
Box yuh neighbour if yuh know wah mi a talk bout...nuh tell nobaddy seh mi tell unoo fi tear dem wid lick enuh!!! Mi nuh able...
Boy mi get a save when mi fren come in pon di scene.  She reminded mi how Naaman did haffi dip seven times inna di murky water.  Sometimes when wi a buck di crasses dem back a dem one anedda a dip wi a  dip inna wi likkle dirty Riva Jordan.  Six times naw go do it- a seven times.  So crasses can walk in sevens too!!!  An ask if mi naw dip inna fi mi dutty Ganges riva-(apologies to my small readership in India, and Hindus from sweet T&T....mi nuh have none from Bangladesh so mi gud)

Or maybe wi a lick a Job season, when wi haffi showcase seh a nuh fish an' bread wi a serve God fah!
God nuh wicked!!!! Mi SURE a dat!  Him nuh love see people suffa-mi believe seh dat bleed Him heart big time.  But wi haffi get tested.
Bwoy mi fail dah tes' yah star!
Wi haffi hol' on during the rough times.

Hennyhoo....
Mi gone!

I am your Jodi, your Jodi, yours for keeps...

Go Sof'

These days I’m hearing plenty about the ‘go-hard’ phenomenon, and, and well, I like it!

It suits my personality-the fierce go-getter that I am.  I am inclined to go after my dreams with an unquenchable tenacity, an undisputable resolve that will most times be impenetrable to roadblocks, insults and pain.  Affixed to this mantra is passion, aggressiveness/assertiveness, stick-to-itiveness to which I am not averse.

So we’ve all bought into a hardcore mentality which is great, but as I sat contemplatively last evening a thought danced across my mind, ‘Go soft Jodi’.  Go soft?  Go which freackin’ soft-aint nobody got time fo’ dat!!!!!!! (that’s right Sweet Brown, I got you girl ;-) )  I tried to shake that lame proposition.  I.am.not. going.soft.  Then the go soft philosophy came back to me this morning-yes hounded me from all di way from desso to yasso(the ‘Go soft’ fairy ah go haad wid di ting yow)and I finally had to concur.

What does going soft really mean?

For me, it is an encouragement to go human-I can be so mechanical in pursuing my interests that I lose that gentle sweetness.  

Going soft means to become vulnerable-these aren't the things I want to hear, especially when EVERY TIME I allow myself to become vulnerable, I get hurt-happens EVERY TIME!  

Going soft means being willing to be open. 

It means that I must take my time.  Don’t rush into things quite so blindly-take a step back.

It means that I’m to listen to my intuition.

It means to surrender my own thoughts and feelings on a matter. It means giving an ear to the thoughts of others and lending my heart to understand their pain-even if I get hurt in the process.

Going soft in my mind had such a negative connotation, like ‘go limp’-I HATE THAT! It doesn't even sound right.  BUT, I've now come to terms that it does not for a moment imply that I should become a doormat, or weak, or life-less.  In fact, the more I go soft is the more compassionate I become, the more connected I am to the human condition, the more genuine and real I am.  I evolve into a state of awareness and sensitivity.   I’ll never forget the words a favourite lecturer of mine told the class-your technical skills will get you the job, but your soft skills will keep you there.  Soft skills? The beauty of your spirit. 

From a clinical nutritional stance (mi haffi go deh-‘llow mi), a soft diet is prescribed for those undergoing oral mechanical difficulties-it is modified by consistency/texture to accommodate their needs in order to make food more palatable.  Similarly, some a wi too haad an’ barky barky-too tough, like ol’ fowl-stringy and indigestible.  My life has been going through a little pressure cooking stage where I am becoming a little more sensitive to people’s needs, a little more appreciable to those around who may be a little compromised, providing that tenderness and gentleness of spirit needed to cheer those around me. 

 I am in no wise discounting the sagacity of going hard, I’m calling for balance.  In all your go-hardings, going hards, hard going,cho blow-wow...In all that you do, don’t forget to be civil, gracious, thankful, sometimes a little reticent, understanding, compassionate and simple. Again, the go soft philosophy is not paradoxical to the go hard philosophy but complementary. Do yuh ting, but in a kind way-and don’t forget those around you.

Who loves you like I do?

(chirping crickets)…That’s right!  NOBODY!

I am your Jodi today and always!

Sister Sanctimonious

We all know them- the self-righteous individuals who do no wrong.  They are spotless in reputation, free from guile, void of character flaws.
Because they are never wrong, they never need to apologise-even when they have done "less-than good".
These are among the most difficult people to appreciate.  The staunch, unwavering, stubborn approach to life is actually rooted in selfishness and pride-among the most despised vices listed in scripture.
We.are.all.human.  We all make mistakes.  We injure people knowingly and unknowingly.
Taking a childlike approach to living is the antidote.  This approach  is grounded in humility.
These overly spiritual people drive others away with their callousness.
Do you ever wonder how certain people, though linked with spiritual giants, go off to make the worst mistakes?
"A how she breed fi dat deh man deh an har fatha a pasta?"
"So a really batty man him go tun?  Look pon di family 'im come from!"
"What a gyal pickeney love man!  Har madda a praya warriah enuh!!!"

Listen! When yuh too holy-righteous, yuh sen' people inna di wrong direction.  Yuh shoob dem weh from yuh an lan' dem inna di arms of danger-den nuh muss!!! A which smaddy aggo siddung unda abuse day in- day out so.

There is a danger in being spiritual to the neglect of the other aspects of our person-what of the social, mental, and physical?  I believe that being spiritual should translate into balance.  It should soften and sweeten my personality and make me more sensitive to others.  By no means am I suggesting that one should become a walk-over.  I am simply emphasizing the beauty of spirit which should be characteristic of the truly sanctimonious.

Yeah man, just know seh a proud and insensitive spirit is antagonistic to a truly holy character.

A mi seh so!

I am your Jodi.....

Love you guys so much!

The heels are alive with the sound of music

Mi affi tell unoo bout one likkle ting weh mi go pon recently!!!!
Heheyah!
He told me we were going to a concert.  Now, despite di patois, mi is a classical chick-love fine arts and the whole nine yards.
So when mi hear concert, mi tink:

Awrite!!!!Maybe not!!!! BUT! I ascribe a little sophistication, elegance and class to the idea of a concert.   N.B.-He said it was an evening of dance-so nuh fine arts dat inna fi mi classical mind! 

Eh-Eh!

I pulled out an ensemble out of my wardrobe resembling:

Less the clutch, accessories, and sweater.  Insert thick gray and black leggings.  I thought it was cute and appropriate.....UNTIL......

Enter escort:

Awwwww Nawwwwwww!!!!!!! That's not even true! NEXT!

Enter ESCORT:

Insert accessories...and yup!  Can u say DISPARITY!!!!!!!  

It was VERY awkward FOR HIM!

I was being me, he was being him-he's pretty laid back, not fussy at all.

Thing is, the majority of persons in attendance looked like him, whilst a few, looked a little like me. 

I was comfortable in my own skin, but uncomfortable because of how uncomfortable he was.

I was not to be deterred however, I rocked out my high heels to the sound of that music-in a mild-mannered but meaningful way.

I had hoped we would have complemented  each other, but wadever chile! I learnt through that experience to be me-all me, in spite of how everyone looks around me.  Conformity is important yes, but conformity doesn't always translate into uniformity.

Ah well it could have been worse!

You know what?  I'm not gonna murmur nor complain!

I am your incredibly-grateful-my-date-didn't-show-up-in-dem-shorts Jodi!

My yellow bus bigga dan your pretty van

Travelling these Jamaican streets via public transportation has given me unique insight into the dynamics of life in general and has taught important life lessons.

Yellow Bus.  The JUTC services availed by our (gulps hard-hypocrisy alert!) caring, considerate and efficient government(mi feel a strange hellish heat a while ago), provides affordable and relatively safe transportation for commuters. When mi first enter di luxury bus of a vehicle mi was pleasantly surprised-AC, soft seat, tinted glass, good shocks, di ting nice man!  I often times yearn for my own vehicle, just to shut out the world.  When, however, I hand over my JA$80, and find a cozy window seat high above cars, minivans, pick-up trucks and coaster buses, I recline in the liberty of an uncomplicated life of no insurance, no fitness, no police stops, no duco-ing, no cleaning, no maintenance, nothing.  And yet, dis yah available form of transportation is scoffed at by many.
I am not saying that my yellow bus is better than your pretty van because your pretty van nice bad!  In fact, it is very convenient!

I'm simply saying that it is bigger, that is, my mentality appreciates the breadth of a perspective that acknowledges the uncomplicated beauty of a minimalist lifestyle. 

Flash forward to the natural world around us.

Take a look at water.  This free resource has been manipulated by manufacturing giants and then retailed back to us in the form of bottled water, much of which is the same germ-infested, piss-ridden, incorrigible 'stuff' that is present in untreated water sources.  Yuh don't believe me?  In an experiment that tested ten major brands of water the overall quality was shown to be less than was claimed. 

Read di report right yasso: http://www.ewg.org/reports/BottledWater/Bottled-Water-Quality-Investigation Den nuh might as well wi jus dip wi head inna di dutty Ganges dung a India(or Bangladesh-whicheva yuh preffa) an' swalla haad.* Coughs and clears throat*  

 I'm just coming from the country where there were fruits and veg in abundance.  Wha mi seh?  Yuh jus go henka  a di neighba yaad an dem pick up di rake-staat let off dem likkle dis an dem likkle dat.  Come a town-oops- venture into the city, an' is a whole set a tiefin' and extortion.   Hey, farmer barely a mek nuttin enuh, a di higgler dem weh capitalise pon dem a mek di profit(an mi naw bash higgla caw memba seh me is a paat a di association).  Supermarket produce is marketed as the choicest, while the produce directly from farm is poorly regarded.  That's a mentality that's been inherited-uptown is better than downtown and in this particular case, town betta dan country.  Instead of celebrating the differences, we use them to create a caste system.  

The essence of this post is that simple is bigger. The naturally available and abundant resources in its uncultivated, unaffected forms are much more beneficial and accessible than the processed, synthetic and unwholesome byproducts presented to us as the utmost and best. 

Thing is, provision has been made for us all, that is, air, sunlight, trees, sun and moon to which we are all privy-we all have access.  These are the things we cannot live without; they are abundant and unintended for exploitation  however as selfish human beings tending to avarice, we try to capitalise on natural endowments. Who gave us that authority?  Even though we pride ourselves on being stewards of this great world, our manipulation of the natural world can never in any way compare to the large-scale raw materials(which may in and of itself not be raw after all, but highly refined by a Divine order for human use) that was drafted by an infinite intellect.

Why is my yellow bus bigga dan your pretty van?  Because it affords:

• more freedom, 
• an opportunity to socialise with the 'common folk', 
• less responsibility to maintain, 
• a community/organisation whose purpose is to handle all transportation-related grievances, which means that there is an entity to whom I can complain  and whose a$$ I can sue. 

Although the yellow bus bigga, the only drawback that I dislike immensely, is that from this area of elevation there is a  panoramic view of the bike man's(in front of us...shoooo) incredibly deep, dark and dreadful butt crack(which appears to have its own ecosystem-no, not so much a jungle but close....stop pressing for detailed descriptions because I cannot verbalise the spectacle).

I am your blinking-from-that-most-disturbing-sight Jodi

Mi almos' shot di Sheriff!

NO SAH!
Hear mi now!

Afta mi life a tek one likkle uneventful kinda tone, mi buck up pon one likkle piece a drama-Tenk God fi small mercies!

So mi decide fi go look some stuff fi bake early mawnin', so(since dis story was set in night time) we set out inna di dark a look one open store.
Di one weh wi fin' neva suit my pocket so onward bound wi seh.
Afta a few hiccups-well dat was more like gyaapin', wi normalise out.
 Den as wi a mek wi way back to wi yaad, nuh one cyar dat behin' wi a flash wi.  We were in an extremely volatile area, so mi beg mi bredda nuh fi stop.
Hear mi, " A betta yuh drive yaw, a cudda who dat deh, afta wi nuh know nobaddy look so, drive up!"
So we continue pon wi merry way a good while, meanwhile di cyar bakka wi nuh stop flash wi.  Mi staat fi get nervous bad bad.
 Mi gi' out, "Den Lawd a yasso wi come fi go dead?  Dead so widout remedy???  Nobaddy else nuh deh pon di road as a witness- Jeesam Peace!!!!!!"
 Den mi poor (younger) brother who looked so bewildered and uncomfortable decided to stop.  He alighted from the vehicle, an' me instinctively falla bakka him-caw 'im one naw go dead so.  When wi look, nuh di po-po(police).  Ah nearly piss up miself when mi tink how long wi a 'void di law!  Gyad oh!  Mi tun fool same time, caw a wha dem cudda want at dis hour yah.
Mi heart nearly stap beat when one a di police mention di word, 'criminal' to 'im squaddy.  Mi staat fi stamma an walk up inna di cyar(sake a nervousness) a let out pure, "eeh? huh? wha?"  Di man dem look pon mi an' KNOW seh mi neva righted.  So dem jus tek di paper dem, give it a quick glance an' den run wi offa di road.

I was sooo weak, especially cuz that area is ridden with violence, there's no telling what could have gone down, and to think there was a killing in that community just days before.
Yuh cudda hear pon news how two young people were in an altercation with lawmen, after which a shootout ensued. Mark yuh, yours truly doesn't own a gun.  Den yuh wudda hear how di bullet weh mi fire wid mi fingatip(pow-pow) nearly graze di police officer dem and in self defense they did what was necessary!!

My GOD!
Ah tell yuh star!  Dat ting was a mess!
Dis yah baking yah haffi KNOW ITS PLACE!  Fi come wreck mi life?  Mi love toto, but nuh so!

Aye, mi gone...

Unno have a good week, yuh hear?
I'll let you know what's up.

Till then,
I am YOUR Jodi-podi!

A hug from me to you

Not a ting naw gwaan inna mi life yah now.  Nuh more toto naw bake tideh, no fantastic stories showcasing the shenanigans of our unique demographic... Everything at a stand still and ah don't know what the next move is.....
Whew!
Grandma died last night, and prior to that I've been low on energy.
I guess there really is a season for everything under the sun.  Time fi jus 'buil'(chill).

Just letting y'all know I haven't forgotten you, nor am I too busy to post, just a little void of inspiration.

Let me take this opportunity to encourage us all to feed positive energy into the lives of those around us.
A little "I love you" here and there, now and then, can't hurt.  A warm hug, smile, kiss, bottom grab(go back up Jodi), shoulder pat, neck rub, chest massage(MISS!), belly rub-a-dub(just stop, because you're going off track just a little), are genital gentle expressions of affection which reaffirms the weary soul.

I resolve to speak life into the oftentimes plain existence we experience on this earth.

Take heart my loves!

I am your dripping-with-love-for-you Jodi

No raisins in my toto

Somebody ordered toto for today.

I have no raisins.  I will still bake it- raisin-less.
And .I.Will.Sell.
I must go on for life is not only sweet.  They shall eat it and content be.  I will arise to a new dawn, a season of bounty again.  But for now, I am still enough, enough for all I am called to do and I will do it with all that I am.

This is a place
This is a dry place
This is a dry and hard place
This place is void
Void of the life-giving, salubrious springs of joy and expectation
It is a barren place,
with
Large expanses of hay;
Brown earth, brown grass, brown muddy waters, brown sky, brown clouds, brown wind blowing off of brown sand.
The noisome thunder rolls in the distance.
It heralds the rain.

The brown earth will live again.
So will I.
I will take my rest in dusk.
I will rise with the morn.

I am your Jodi