Of bottoms and books...

I want to share a struggle that I'm having- a real mental battle-and I suppose putting it all out there will umm...(hisses teeth)yuh know wah mi mean. Cho yaw!
Our society values education-highly.  "Education is key" is right up there with "Repent and be converted"(we're also a very spiritual nation) alongside "Don't scratch your bottom in public"(???-maybe not that one, but I wish that were a popular one).  Let me digress a little bit to express my concern for our public health and safety.  We'll labour on that 'bottom scratching' point a little bit.  Now having taken a course in microbiology for my undergraduate programme, I am  all too keen on the microscopic units that threaten our lives and safety.  We live in a world where there is but scant regard for hygiene and sanitation.
Check this scenario-yuh jump in a taxi inna yuh hot clothes-yuh bade and smell fresh.

•  finger nail clean?-check! 
• back-a-ears wipe dung an' earshole de-waxed?-check!
• foot back lotion?-check
• powder pon ches'?-hopefully NOT check!-yuh too ghetto!woi!
• clean underwear?-check!
• everyting else in tact?-check!

After yuh put in all a dat effort, one sour smaddy usually grossly overweight sitting on your right just spread dem jelly all inna yuh paats-complete wid sweat and odour.  Mi personally nuh like people body juices a drip pon mi enuh-nuh when mi go di extra mile. Den imagine seh di man pon di leff jus' come offa him site work an' green like a callaloo patch.   People a dig out dem buggu an' a give di taxi man dem fare.   Di taxi man dis release a gallon a *orange-bag-juice-coloured(thanks Carla)*pee-pee pon di side a di road, jump inna di taxi fi mek yuh change- an' a pure coin yuh a get back. Look yah! Is a miracle wi alive!

Nuh badda venture inna food preparation 'cause yuh naw go recova from di heart attack-tank God fi what we do not know!

Hennyhoo-ah nuh teeven dis mi come on fi talk bout enuh.  (Side note) Mi miss unnu tideh so till.  Unnu miss me?  Yuh too lie!

Wha mi waa' talk bout is the pursuit of advanced degrees in this season of job-lessness.  

I'm being encouraged to pursue an advanced degree.  Now hear dis, since mi graduate over a year ago, I've not been placed in the gov't position I've been promised.  The economic climate is...yes, harsh!  As such, if one is not entrepreneurial in mindset-dawg nyam yuh AN' yuh suppa!  Breaking into any industry is no mean task.   It requires everything you have and a little bit more.  Succinctly, I have no time for books. None whatsoever.  But wouldn't the advanced degree provide better job opportunities, one may ask?  WHICH JOB???  Having your own effort is the most prudent thing one can do for oneself.  Amidst all the banter I feel like I just need to settle into the fact that I'm my own boss-not just for now-for life!

This stream of consciousness is not for everyone.  I'm a little bit offbeat-no, maybe a lot-so it works for me.  I guess I want to openly state my purpose, it's not that I lack ambition, but I see myself being of more usefulness by putting my shoulder to the wheel.  My profession doesn't yield the clientelle that I anticipated but everybody haffi eat- so I market healthy products.  I refuse to surrender my passion for Nutrition and Dietetics, I'm taking the unconventional route to engage that discipline.

I walked on NCU campus yesterday and felt a gut-wrenching pain because I know there aren't enough jobs for these kids to fill, and I know the struggle they have in coming up with tuition(mi know caw dem cyaah afford mi toto).  Aye sah!

I believe every family should instill entrepreneurial  values in the home.  That is something I'm very passionate about.  Each child should be taught how to raise money "because these are some serious times, all I can see...."

Love you guys!

Share your thoughts.

I'm whose Jodi?

Yours!

See u soon!

Toto village: a place called Mandeville

Whew!  Mi praperly tired! mm-mm!  Mi naw lie, dem ya higglering wok yah nuh easy at all!  Props to all higglers out there-NUFF RESPEC'(don't tief di big up if you are not a higgler-we are an exclusive community).  As a junior hustler learning the ropes mi a tell yuh man, is a lot of hit an' misses and unrelenting perseverance.

So mi ride come today.  Hip hip?.....Finish it, das rite- hooray!
Mi leff out wid mi hamper full of goodies- coconut drops, banana pudding, bread pudding and the infamous TOTO(big up!-my absolute fave!).  Today would be a special day though 'cause I'd have an entourage to lend support.
Four a wi(Le-Noi, Oshaine, mi cousin Claudia an' miself) a pace di campus a look fi any crusty lip pickeney fi wipe out di white squawl epidemic wid di products. Le-Noi provided the muscle-a carry roun' di bag, Oshaine a market di ting dem an' wi pimp out Claudia wid har hot self fi soften the groun' before wi hit di target dem, me scout out an' drive home di sale.  What a team!  A who seh Fantastic Four?  So mi seh too.
Yes sah!
 Mi realize seh a pride did a hol' mi back from hittin' the market the right way.  Listen! Hear mi good!  Dis pride ting CYAAH work enuh!!! NO!  Pride undergirds fear which limits our potential for growth, exploration, and attainment of goals.  It prevents us from living in enlightenment and prosperity.  We must abandon this most ruinous trait if ever we are to become our best selves.  So mi staat look pon everybaddy as a prospec'.  Mi approach everybaddy.  Di ting is, di people who mi was most skeptical about was the people who supported me the most.  Wha mi seh?  JUDGE NOT!!!  An' di smaddy dem who me SURE bout a di one dem weh naw seh nuttin'-what a ting!  Wi cyaah mek wi ill-guided perceptions guide wi reality, because wi miss out on perfectly wonderful opportunities to extend ourselves.
I especially enjoyed today because the focus was different.  I engaged my inner Dietitian and enhanced my sales pitch with some heartfelt Nutrition Education.  I fell in love with the prospects and so whether or not they purchased anything at all our encounter was fulfilling.
I don't know what the future holds but I'm willing to learn life  lessons every single day(and I intend on sharing them with you-yuh can share too enuh-das why dere is a comments section below-nuh badda mean up wid di ting).  I'm not sure how I'll maintain my Mandeville market but I'm taking each day as it comes.

Let me use this as an opportunity to encourage you in whatever endeavour you may be strongly considering or may be embarking on, to do so with your whole heart, mind, soul and spirit.
The other day I thought about how some people sell their bodies(like how mi did haffi pimp out dear Claudia today-yuh know it's hard out here for a ____What?If you watched Hustle and Flow you know), then others sell their souls, I figure if we all have to sell something then I may as well sell my spirit.  That's something I'm comfortable with.
May this blog serve as a source of spiritual renewal(an' spiritual nuh mean Bible alone).  Mi want unnu fi know seh we can all mek it- even when things haad an' times tough.

Mi gone a mi bed...someting spicy a come up.  U jus' wait fi di pos'.

Tek care mi childrens.

Tank yuh Le-Noi!  Tank yuh Oshaine!  Tank yuh Claudia(bow-chica-wow-wow)!  Mi cuddn' do it widout unnu!

Much love to you all in blogland.

I am who? Your Jodi!

Be blessed.....

Oh and yes! mi did sell off!!!!!

All the Weigh to Ideal

No!  This is not another cloying (or clidin' rather) toto post.  I'm sure you can almost taste the toto by now!  No man dis blog is not about so-so toto.  Sorry to disappoint.  Today features a synopsis of my weight journey.  Wait! It is interesting, if yuh ever click offa di page widout reading it yuh see!  Ah find yuh an...(fill in the blanks) yuh!

As a few of you already know, I'm a Registered Dietitian by profession.  An area of significant interest is Weight Management.  Whilst this area is riddled with challenges, the rewards of successful intervention is incomparable.
So dis chica here-me- has been testing my own meal planning skills on myself and have committed to regularised physical activity-eh eh.
I started the year with a three day water fast-ingesting nothing but water for three days-yes mi did feel like mi waah dead-but completed that journey successfully.  That experience served as a "reset" for my badly deteriorated appreciation for nutritious foods.  My nutrition diagnosis, even from the perspective of a trained Dietitian was: Disordered Eating. WHA?! Nuh badda confuse it with eating disorders now.  The former alludes to improper timing of meals and inappropriate food choices.  But mi did have it bad: only chocolate and banana chips mi a eat from morning till night, wid maybe some ice-cream, Captain's doughnuts and strawberry lasco(college days) in between.  How mi live so long Lord?
Hennyhoo, this reset accomplished its intended purpose and I began craving foods that provided superior nutrition.  Pure whole foods mi a eat.  I began losing weight simply by engaging my new appetite.  Then di bombshell-di braces-NO SAH!  Dah one deh staat out rough!  When mi seh mi appetite did  ravenous enuh man, but di teet' cuddn' mek di journey!  Mi memba day 2 afta di braces did bonded to mi teet', mi hungry nuh dawg enuh man, an' di teet' dem sensitive from di pressure.  Mi staat get cross an' a pure naughtiness a swim roun' inna mi head-tank God fi Jesus mek dem neva cum out. Ah!  Mi haffi come affa di road an' come home-'pose yuh see how mi staat fi drink dung di rice grain dem like a wata.  Man, di grain dem guh dung whola, an' di reason mi know ah caw di nex' time mi see dem, dem whola same way(use yuh imagination).  Needless to say my weight loss accelerated. Series of subsequent events promoted increased weight loss and 20 lbs lighter, I now stand at my ideal body weight.
At 5 ft, 4 in., I am 120lbs. Applause?  Mi nuh know enuh, CAW, whilst I feel good, no jiggles or wiggles, some paats of my anatomy a SUFFA!!!!
No sah, mi haffi confess unnu know seh mi neva blessed wit 'back' inna di firs' place, now, hmph, it feel like mi have some electrical shaats inna di leff cheek of my gluteus minimus-di whole a mine is a minimus situation! Good!  Mi a feel one jabbin' pain in deh man, an den, di hip area is subject to a lot of trauma.  Today for instance, di van door clabba mi pon mi side an' a tell yuh-a angels weh excel in might stop Spanish Town from bun dung wid di fire weh nearly ignite when di two surfaces graze dem one anedda. mm-mm-mm. Mercy! WOW!
I dunno(said in my farrin voice).  This journey to the ideal weight has led me to inquire- a who come up wid dis yah calculation yah, caw fi mi baddy a pay di dividends.   I mean, I feel well, but do I look well?  Pants bottom a sag worsara-no sah!  Outside of that, I have the energy and confidence to move about with(clears throat) "vim, vigour and vitality".  If anyone is able to tell me who was just quoted, you'll be entitled to a free slice of toto*wink*.
 Maybe if I alter my fitness routine to build more muscle(and do less cardio), I'll have more protection from the elements-mother nature mi naw play, caw right now I'm a walking hazard.

Let me know how you felt at your ideal body weight (if you've ever been at that weight or close to it) and if you think it's realistic.  Jeli, and Le-Noi agreed with Geoff in the comment section of a previous post that I should employ some real bad man tactics and threaten to kill you if you don't accede to my requests.  Don't. test. me.  A Spanish Town mi grow. Awoah!

To calculate your ideal body weight:
Women-100lbs for first 5 feet + 5 lbs per inch after that. eg. Me 5 ft, 4 inches-100lbs +4inches*5=120lbs

(This is for medium frame, if you're big boned add 10 lbs, if small frame, minus 10 lbs from the medium frame calculation).

Men-106lbs for first 5 feet + 6 lbs for every inch after that eg. Liddle bwada(that's my bro's nickname)-5 ft, 10 in.-106+6*10=166lbs.

(This is for medium frame, if you're big boned add 10 lbs, if small frame, minus 10 lbs from the medium frame calculation).

If, like Geoff or Le-Noi you are above 6 ft, just multiply the inches over 5 ft by 6 lbs eg. 6 ft 2 in. would be 106(for first 5 ft)+14 in.(12 +2) *6=mi cyaa badda fi go find calculator now enuh star, cho.(Jeopardy music) Person who calculate dis win a slice of banana bread, no yaw, mi a dash weh my business, see it yah, see it yah-190lbs. woo-hoo!  I won me a slice of my own cake-yayyyyyy!!!!!!

So we'll chat soon then.  I miss ya already.  Soon come back.

Love you too!
Read, enjoy, follow.

I AM YOUR JODI

Anedda Progress Report..di las' one, mi promise!

People!  Body.Come.Dung!  Lawd gosh man!  But the blog must go on...wha mi seh?

I had some toto remaining from last evening. NO, no, no!  Mi neva seh dem stale, yuh bright! Hmph!
I left out with Mommy again inna mi merino an' a bermuda shorts wid piece a di trimmin' tear dung, and my disheveled hair in a low bun-a hot mess(plus mi neva did bade-jus' did haffi run out same way-gweh! mi did bade late last night!  Yuh tink yuh easy?  Like seh yuh neva do it too-all when y'a go work, so nuh badda teeven try. AWOAH)!  Rambling much?
Hennyhoo, we had a hard time getting sales today.  One man look like him ready fi buss a Chuck Norris jump kick inna mi ches' when mi mention di word 'buy' or a did 'sell'?  In any case him neva interested in buying wha mi didda sell.  Mi shame yes, but mi press along to further insults.  Mi get a good dose too BUT 'tis life, yes?
We ended up giving a few of the totos away much to the recipients' delight and much to my dismay...um..how mi aggo seh it widout looking like mi mean? Um.. much to my...(insert appropriate word).
I'm here reflecting on the dynamic events that mark my life.   Life has dealt its cards and at this stage in the game I'm a college trained higgler, peddler, entrepreneur-there we go,  move an' gweh, it betta dan tief!
WHOI!!!!  Mi love unnu yuh see!  Having an audience to express the vicissitudes of my life is cathartic and makes me feel supported.  I'm awed at how resilient the human spirit is-even my human spirit, aye sah.  Necessity is the mother of all inventions, I say adversity is the father of all self-discovery. Look yah! unnu betta quote mi, or else mi wi buss unnu shut.  Ahem.  The life lessons learned from embarking on these peculiar experiences are of inestimable value.
I am sooo tired right now I feel like I need a dip inna di healing stream.  Oh! no, a bade mi waah bade.
Mi gone before fly staat pitch.

P.S.  I'll be doing a batch of Totos and Banana Bread on Sunday.
Mi naw go learn?
I'll let you know how it goes.

Toodles!

I AM YOUR JODI

Progress report...Toto Disappointment

After being initially distraught by today's proceedings, my mom suggested that I gather up the fragments of my brokenness, bitter disappointment,  fear and confusion and, despite my ultra tired state, "push out" to see what could be accomplished.
Meanwhile some uber excited Jehovah's witnesses decided to stop on by with the the good news of salvation or..selling books..or something, chile I don't know!!!!  I was so busy moping and groping that I could not even hear what they were saying.  I didn't entertain them, and then it dawned on me AFTER they'd gone-why yuh neva sell dem yuh toto! (Touch your neigbour, say LATE!)  But nuh worry dat naw ketch mi again. Every Jehovah's witness haffi buy my toto before mi look pan dem Watchtower magazine.  Awoah!
So...I gathered up the fragments, and wearily jumped into mom's vehicle and rode with her into the unknown with two large bags full of toto(for those who aren't aware-toto is a Jamaican pastry made with coconuts, flour, sugar and raisins bearing the texture of a shortcake).
We went to the market to get some produce and got a couple toto sales in, however, I had to sell the products far below my intentional price-look yah-nuh badda come try fi find me inna di market fi get di goods dem cheap!  Dat was an ATYPICAL experience!!! Cho!
Di. people. dem. love.di.toto.  Wha mi seh?  Bwoy star, ting boos' mi confidence.  Moral a di story: yuh ever hear da phrase yah, "every disappointment is an appointment with the Almighty"?  Well, a true!
I broke into a new market-literally and figuratively and met some awesome people.  Now new things are on the horizon *wink**wink*.  No not man ting!  Whappen to unnu, business mi a talk.  Goodness!!!
So mi mek a few sales yes!  I feel positive about the future of the business-see we never have to be hung up on one thing, one idea, one way of doing things.  Disappointments occur to shake us from out of that mold and get us thinking creatively which pushes us into new environments and frees us to be more than we ever knew we could be.  PHILOSOPHY!!!!Touch your neighbour, say DEEP! Aye sah!
Well, there's more coming up so stay tuned.  Mi haffi live it before mi can write it so..patience!
I know you can hardly wait until I come back.  I'll miss y'all too.
Back in a minute!
Wait, wait, before mi go, mi aggo upload one picture of mi toto soon y'hear?
Look out fi it!

Wha mi aggo do now Lawd?

I've been working to build my own little business-a baking business.  I've watched it grow from a little "eeny, beeny" endeavour to a bigger eeny, beeny endeavour.  I've had lows and highs, and today is one of those "what in God's green earth is going to happen next?" kinda days.  Aye sah!
I had arranged to go to Mandeville to supply my new market with "Healthy Totos".  Mi seh! Mi weak out when mi realise seh mi ride naw come fi mi.  An' is a whole heap a baking mi puddung.  Miss? Sir! Mi haffi run come start dis yah blog ya same time fi keep mi sanity. WHOI!  What to do?  Good Lord what to do?  Di thoughts weh a go thru my mind right now...a all a mi money mi invest back inna dis batch enuh.  Lawd have mercy-ah weak!  Wait, wait..mi madda jus' tell mi seh she get a sale fi mi outside.  Look like market come a town.  Well, well, mi aggo hit di road right here (insert address) an' see what happens.  I will fill y'all in on what happened.  Pray dat I sell off!!!!!!!