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Thursday, 31 January 2013

Jodi? Stop hallarin' out mi name!

Mi seh!
Mi lie dung inna mi room afta a nice likkle bath, cock up mi foot dem and den mi hear it.
Jodi?
Jodi???
JODI!!!!
Di likkle neighbour bwoy of no more dan 2 years old nuh stop call mi.  Him madda she jus a prompt di poor ting bout, call har, "Jodi?" an him a falla in obedience-ah waah tell di pickeny seh, "In di Lawd mi chile, obey yuh madda in di Lawd!"
Him gi mi a likkle break-all dis while mi a seh to miself seh a hope mi phone nuh ring so dem know seh mi inna mi room.
Hear di stubban pickeney again bou', JODI! A waah bawl out seh, Mi a doodoo! CHO!
But mi couldn't do it caw mi didda read mi Bible, so fi buss dat deh lie deh wud have been counter-productive( and incredibly ghetto).
Mi neh ansa him tho cause once yuh do is a habit fi life. Yessideh dem ketch mi when mi a rake.
Di persistent pickney staat halla again.  Mi laugh to miself an seh," Mi rake fram 12 o'clock tideh, yuh lucky, yuh NAA ketch mi again!"

Mi remember mi odda likkle neighba bout 4 years old when him staat fi sing di "Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken batty outta door" song.
Hear him,
 "Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken NECK outta door"
"Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken HEAD outta door"
"Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken NOSE outta door"-hear mi a bawl out a intarup di bwoy chune-"Chicken beak-a beak-nuh nose"
Him neva hear mi so him continue,
"Rain a fall, breeze a blow, chicken BELLY outta door"
Di likke feisty bwoy know seh him aggo buss di bad wud now.  Him staat fi gadda him madda attention now.
Hear yah,
"Mammy, Mammy, RAIN A FALL, BREEZE A BLOW, CHICKEN BATTY OUTTA DOOR"
Him repeat dah one deh bout five times.  Mi deh deh a laugh off mi face.
Him go on fi sing bout di chicken toe an foot dem-"real black man-love Chicken eeh?", mi seh to miself.
Mi get a jolt back to reality when mi hear di lilly 2 year old bwoy a gi out one desperate cry once again-"JODIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"

Ah naw go cope-mi aggo move.
Mi a pack!
Later!

oh yes!
I am your Jodi!(not his)

2 comments:

  1. Lol, you have future husband a holler your name?! Mek di likkle boy stay man! LOL! And you are MY Jodi too!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. DWL! U gwine mek dem tink seh mi mad wid dem big ol' dutty laugh mi deh ya a pop!
    U fi call him name same way like him bawl out fi yuh!

    ReplyDelete