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Saturday, 1 June 2013

Deep Breath Choka (with apologies to Deepak Chopra)

Hear mi when mi tell yuh fi CAREFUL wha yuh ask fa!!!
WOI Mighty Fada!

Mi seh!  Mi siddung a brainstorm wah mi cudda blog seh, afta 'rall mi go promise few a mi readers seh mi did aggo blog specifically fi dem.  So mi pray a likkle prayer fi come into a nice, light, humorous experience fi share.

It occurred about midday.  It involved my having to interface with someone for 45 minutes in an enclosed air-conditioned area.  All was well on our greeting TILL fireman opin(open) 'im mout'.
No sah! Mi nearly mad!!!!!
Mi yeye staat wata same time.
No!  Why? Eeh? Cho man!  So...... Hmph!
Dis man an 'im breath need a whole continent!!
After a few minutes I started to suffer a more-than-mild headache.  The air was brown, thick and foggy-maybe a desso mi staat fi hallucinate.  The session was very brief, to the point, direct!  I was not my usual humorous self.

Check this  lesson- we are responsible not only for ourselves but for others' comfort(to an extent) while they're around us.  We must present our best selves especially hygiene-wise.

All now mi pressure still raise and I'm honestly nauseated and feel an uncharacteristic pressure in the back of my head.  Mi do everyting inna 20 minutes, lest unuh wudda did haffi scrape mi carcass from outta di office.
Then yuh know it bad when yuh fraid fi open yuh owna mout' 'cause yuh tink it ketchin, like seh it jus aggo cleave to yuh tongue.  I had to air out di office for a considerable amount of time.  Oye!  Mi all leff mi mout' fi jus heng open so dat any stubban particles wudda flee mi system(awrite maybe not ).

Let's live for each other please!

I am your waiting-to-exhale Jodi!

Home is where the heart is

Only quite recently has the phrase "Home is where the heart is" had significant meaning to me.  I heard it oft times being repeated but never paid any attention to it.
As I sat in a bus on my way to wherever I was on my way to(hol' on deh, how unoo so faas?), the following thought developed in my mind.
I thought of a sermon I'd heard recently of how home represents a place of solace, peace, rest, comfort, shelter and relaxation.  I pondered many experiences I'd had  and how unsettled I'd been.
I reviewed friendships I'd had and how amidst the many acquaintances I had entertained in some way or form, there were only very very few with whom my soul found absolute rest.
I challenged my system of beliefs and found it to fall short of tenets that would yield more health and vitality.
I looked into everything and questioned myself honestly, "Am I at home?" "Have I found MY peace?" "Is my soul at rest?" "Does my heart and I dwell at the same address?"
Living takes the life out of you.  It is demanding.  Am I wearing a front, and if so, do I wear it so often that I've lost touch with who I really am?
Home.  I long for home-a spiritual place where I am undisturbed, where I am unmolested, where my thoughts, words and actions are congruent, a place where I am whole.
I encourage us to take whatever steps that may be necessary in order to find your way home.  You may have to lose associations that you thought were impossible to sever ties with-family members, friends, co-workers, church family.  It may mean you may have to connect with an entirely new support system or none at all.  It could mean a season of alone time.  In any case, 'home' must be sought with all the diligence that can be mustered.

I read of a story where a man had married a wonderful woman.  She was developed in every way imaginable.  She was smart, focused, had a booming career, did all her wifely duties with distinction and on top of that was incredibly attractive.  He cheated.  In spite of all that, he cheated with someone in no wise comparable to his wife.  When asked why he'd ever concede to do something so ghastly, he simply responded that he could be himself around this half-witted woman who was anxious to hear his stories and his ideas.  She listened in awe as he shared his hopes and dreams for the future.  She had no college degree, she was not industrious, she was not bright but she had the graces that brought him 'home'.
I am not justifying cheating nor am I glorifying the motives behind vices, this ought however to be taken into consideration, that we all have an intrinsic desire to be loved, accepted, honoured, admired, and welcomed into fellowship.  This provides an insight into why many do the things onlookers view as absurd.

People sometimes lead reckless lives in search of 'home'-searching for a place to belong.  It may lead some down the futile and fruitless road of promiscuity or addictions of varying sorts.  When we fail to come into that union of heart and home it sends us in an erratic chase to fill the void with meaningless activities.  These activities may not even appear to be meaningless; they may take the form of church responsibilities, jobs, get the drift?  They're meaningless when they don't meet the intended purpose but is used as a cover which does not yield satisfaction or fulfillment.  They're meaningful only when they add purpose and direction and bring us in union with ourselves.

My prayer for us all is that we journey home.  We do not need to sell ourselves short or compromise in order to be accepted.  Home is where you should feel secure.  By now you know that home is not necessarily a physical place, but a place of security, protection, beauty, realness, truth and soulfulness.  There's no need for make-up or the ritualistic observance of protocols.  It's a place of you-safe, happy and complete.

To all my blog readers who have contributed to my life in such a way as to make me feel at 'home', I say THANK YOU!

You are valued and appreciated...

I am your Jodi

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

The Problem of a Testimony

"Look what the Lord has done!"

There are as many claims of the miraculous working of the Heavenly Father in human affairs as there are grains of sand on the seashore.  Stories range from being mildly humourous to out-rightly jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring and incredible.  Even spurious tales are rendered, raising an eyebrow or two.
What is undeniable though is that people have attested to the manifested works of a being greater than themselves taking an active role in rectifying  difficult/well-nigh impossible situations.

I will confess that testimonies are heartening and even entertaining at times; they inspire hope and courage.  There are times I go to scripture for a somewhat tarot experience(nuh badda come gwaan like a me one), that is,  I go looking for something in scripture that will pacify my fears and grant me the assurance that all will be well. This, of course, stems from uncertainty about the future.
I treat with my devotionals in a similar way.  At one point I noticed that my dependence on them made them out to be some sort of Christian horoscope.  What was related in the word that day would have, to a large extent, determined my expectation for that particular day.  I now see that as a very dangerous practice.
See, what is right for me, may not be the prescribed course for you and vice versa.
It is quite true that God works in mysterious ways; not only is it mysterious but it is varied.   The variety in nature indicates the plethora of creative ways in which God moves.  His service to us(mankind) is highly individualized.  It is wise also to note that each person's circumstance is fundamentally different.
 For example, we may need money for tertiary education(perhaps advanced studies)-for one God may soften the hearts of the persons in the finance department so that they exercise sensitivity towards the situation.  For another, He may lay the burden on the heart of a family member to cover the payments while yet to another He may unload a financial package from the sky or in a bin somewhere, to another He may provide an excellent work-study opportunity as well He may just facilitate the approval of good ole' student loan.  For me, He gave my father the strength and wisdom to work to pay my fees.  It is really dependent on what God is aiming to achieve in your life-the lessons He's tailor-made to instruct you, for some it's faith, to others industry etc.
Note, there are no identical stories in the Biblical of God executing His might; it's always different.  There are some irreconcilable tales that bear a questionable mark-
Jael and
are among my favourite examples.

So anyhow, *clears throat*, dis lady aggo see mi inna mi jewelry(heh-hey) an' aggo start fi share wid mi 'bout how when she did young like me, she did turn back(backslide) too.
TUN BACK? Go weh? Who seh ME TUN BACK???
Ah cudda drop dung!
Mi dis waa tell har seh, " Lady, yuh testimony naw connec', it nuh line up none 'tall!"
She bore her story telling of her struggles-none of which I could relate to.

When I told her what my struggle was, she assured me that it was not the case AND she was vehement in her stance too.  She went on the relate to me of what my struggleS truly were.  This was a highly informative session because I had not known of the weaknesses she had diagnosed( and still can't quite identify those things).  I left bewildered.  I was neither ennobled nor lifted by her testimony.
It reconfirmed to me that people really do judge you based on their lifestyle-it's their only point of reference.
Aye sah!

The gist of a testimony is what is important-the general lesson.  God provides, He heals etc.  How He'll do it, when, or even if He'll do it for you, is another story.
Testimonies give us a chance to share in each other's life experience but to an extent.

Call: Praise the Lord church?
Response: Praise the Lord!
Call: God is good?
Response: All the time!
Call: And all the time?
Response: God is good!

Continue to pray for me as I continue to pray for you.....

I am your faithful Jodi


Tuesday, 28 May 2013

It's new's a new day!

Gosh, have I been missing in action.  I've had so many ideas for posts but then life takes place and that's the end of that.

As I pang away at the keyboard, I know not what I will come up with but I'm just typing away none-the-less pretty much like my life at present, there's so much that's happening-mostly disordered crazy shiz and most times it takes a concentrated, deliberate effort to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
There is a time and season for everything under the sun.  This is my season for shedding, renewal, growth, searching, finding, testing, reviewing  and introspection.  This process is by no means easy.  It's rather undesirable but is an absolute necessity for my development.
There's more to life than humour, more to it than joy, more to it than peace and even more to it than love.  It is the opposition that yields the resistance we need in order to develop virtues.
I wished it were easy to escape this season but just similar to an experience I had  when in primary school it cannot be side-stepped or avoided.  Some public health nurses had RANDOMLY dropped by to provide immunization. Had this information been communicated to me in advance I would have been unavoidably absent on the day in question.  Now as a Jamaican, I admit to loving 'free' things BUT.......uh-uh.  I hid myself, thinking I'd escaped the fools only to be cornered by some sadistic teacher who grinned with total satisfaction on having me secure in her unwelcome grasp.  I cried and demonstrated theatrics befitting an Emmy award, but di darn people jus' leggo di neegle(needle) unda mi flesh.  I wailed in absolute displeasure-not so much because of the pain, because admittedly, it was quite short-lived but what ached me most was being in a situation I had no control over, having had to submit to measures of disease control I deemed unnecessary.  I hated the chucked up room, the smell, the way each child was thrust into this experience one by one-namelessly-just the callous announcement of "NEXT".  It was void of the personal care and attention and the after-event comfort that I would have wanted.
Years later I realize, Hun, that's life.  You don't get to choose when, how or what kind of blow is dealt to you.  Be assured of this though-it's for your benefit.  Time will heal.  You'll look back at this season and laugh.  There is merit in engaging this season, dark though it may be to discover important life lessons.  Let it help you determine standards and protocols.  Let it reaffirm faith in God and in yourself.
Cry if you must now, cuz it's just a season boo.  Just a season.  This too shall pass.

I release all that I've lost.
I open myself to receive all that I'll gain.
Thank you!

Summer's coming guys-new season ahead!

Touch your neighbour say-BATHING SUIT!!!

Don't allow any situation to get you down-stay afloat!

See you at the beach!

I am your Jodi!!!

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Top 10 Transportation Woes

The following is by no means an exhaustive list of my peeves related to the transportation system here in Jamaica.  This is simply a reflection of the most annoying grievances-my top 10.

  1. Turn-offs(going a little off route) when I'm late.  The taxi men usually request the turn-offs just before the turn-not initially before they start the ignition-right before they make the swing into wonderland! UGH!
  2. No change.  Hear dem, "Babes, mi jus come pon di route enuh".  Dem tink me can go short di nex driva?  Bout, "Mi can owe yuh?" Hiss teeth. Steups. Whatever yuh waa call it, mi VEX!!!!
  3. Passengers who disembark before the designated stop and take a while to dig into pockets or knee-deep bags to find the money-usually of the large denominator sort, while the taxi is parked in the middle of the road and I'm late(again).  The taxi man of course nuh have no change-refer to number 2 an haffi go mek a spin at a gas station to get di change(WHILE MI LATE).
  4. I hate when you have an overcrowded taxi i.e. three large bodies in the back squishing my body into sausage, then a mawga gyal cotch up inna di front wid har false hair, nails, yeye lash like seh she hot, an jus a stare stare pon harself when people tripe a turn inna salami. 
  5. Oh the pick-ups!! Always when I'm late.  The taxi men stop here, there and every where. Even when the people waving frantically seh NO, dem not coming, dem still a stop. CHO MAN!
  6. Is there a secret rapture for cross-seats?  Please say yes!
  7. What of getting gas on the route?  WHY???
  8. Police man, nuh badda wid di spot check now man, mi late!!!!  Do dat when mi nuh have agenda, like um........,uh......... CHO MAN!
  9. Traffic owing to faasing.  People jus haffi slow dung fi see wha jus happen! Mi naw seh yuh nuffi concerned but....people late man!
  10. Den, who love when yuh siddung pon di cross-seat or yuh in between dat special sandwich we mentioned earlier of two sizeables  an yuh leg dem cramp up so till yuh cyaah even step off when yuh alight from di vehicle.  Yuh jus' halt so.  Man dem yah ting yah mek my nerves dem tan up.
It would be nice to hear a few of your transportation woes.

Comment section below please.

Now, in-house stuff, many of you have indicated to me that you have been having difficulties commenting.  Please sign in using your google mail(gmail account), yahoo mail account, or twitter account.  Hope it works!!!


I am your Jodi :-)

What a gwaan?

"Dis lang time now mi nuh see yuh, come mek wi walk an talk"-Heh-HEY!!!!!!

Whaapen putuses?
Mi miss unuh BAD BAD!

No, mi naw go tell unuh wha a gwaan inna mi life-unoo too faas-a joke yaw!  Y'all know I'm weak to you! Cho!

So mi board a taxi one day laas week, an tek in likkle Christian music offa one CD marked "Natural gospel".  Mi raise mi yeye brow, but den everyting inna Ja is natural: spring water, bag juice, KFC, fowl pill, skin bleach, padded panties (yielding di cock bottom effect), 'tall' hair, yeye lash, finganail, everyting!

Reach a mi destination an siddung fi do mi food handler's training.  Mi learn likkle sinting yes like:

  • Yuh nuffi wash rice wid soap caw rat pee-pee pon di side a di rice bag an yuh a try fi salvage di res' a yuh stock
  • Clarendon and Westmoreland has the highest incidence of Typhoid fever.(Dem nasty-BAD)
  • Fab nuffi wash plate caw di chemical dem too harsh and can cause allergic reaction in some individuals (mi naw seh a dat mek yuh a choke, but go easy pon di Sud-Sud)
  • Don't wash yuh aprons inna di cooking pot
  • If yuh have discahrge coming from outta yuh yeye, ears or nose, yuh nuffi deh roun' a stove (NO COMMENT
Den one ooman siddung an a buss pure laugh TILL di  traina ooman gi out, "Gentlemen, please be advised to wear a beard guard while in the foodservice facility".  Nobaddy else inna di training never have no beard excep' SHE-an is a full plush beard she have too enuh-full a body, jus want a wash an set fi gi it di bounce weh di girl inna di Pantene Pro-V advertisement dem have.

So now mi a head home afta an eventful day.  Little did I know, dah one yah wudda tek di cake!  Hear dis, yes,hear-one dumb man pon di bus a look mi! Him nuh stop jook jook mi inna mi back.  Den him a mek all kinds of gestures weh mi fail fi understand.  Someting like seh him waa carry mi go pon a plane-mark yuh, is a 'ductor bwoy; an den mi aggo live inna farrin wid him weh him have all a him money.  Really?  Mi know seh mi wig never set straight pon mi head, but a so mi look like claffy???  You tell mi dis!!!  Den afta all a dat, him aggo have di nerve fi ask fi mi numba!!!!!  Mista SIR!  How mi aggo hear wah yuh a seh to mi if yuh cyaah talk?  Wah is di purpose of di exchange of numbas.  Mi dis bail offa di bus at first opportunity.

Life is great!!!  Mek wi tek time out fi enjoy di simple pleasures.  They add value to our lives.

Tek care sweeties!

I am your long-lost Jodi

Monday, 18 February 2013

New Season!!!

Change doesn't always come easy.  There are the occasional pin-pricks that accompany the unfamiliarity of a new experience.  Hey, part of life eh?
My encouragement for those of us embarking on a new journey is to enjoy the ride to the MAX!!!
Seasons come, seasons go.  Don't clutch to experiences with such tenacity that its dynamic nature is stifled.  Let go and let live! Learn to recognize the signs of a changing season-it may be a chilly atmosphere, an unfamiliar coldness or conversely, uncustomary heat, it may manifest in falling leaves or the bountiful springing of greenery-make the application to your life.  Whatever the season is, beauty is sure to accompany.
If in your transition between seasons you experienced a lil' bit o' pain- there is a promise of healing.

If not, walk out in victory!!!
Whatever the case, make sure you've learned from the experiences, make sure you're growing and evolving into a more perfect you!

You know I'm yours....

I am your Jodi, for this season AND beyond!