Mi almos' shot di Sheriff!

NO SAH!
Hear mi now!

Afta mi life a tek one likkle uneventful kinda tone, mi buck up pon one likkle piece a drama-Tenk God fi small mercies!

So mi decide fi go look some stuff fi bake early mawnin', so(since dis story was set in night time) we set out inna di dark a look one open store.
Di one weh wi fin' neva suit my pocket so onward bound wi seh.
Afta a few hiccups-well dat was more like gyaapin', wi normalise out.
 Den as wi a mek wi way back to wi yaad, nuh one cyar dat behin' wi a flash wi.  We were in an extremely volatile area, so mi beg mi bredda nuh fi stop.
Hear mi, " A betta yuh drive yaw, a cudda who dat deh, afta wi nuh know nobaddy look so, drive up!"
So we continue pon wi merry way a good while, meanwhile di cyar bakka wi nuh stop flash wi.  Mi staat fi get nervous bad bad.
 Mi gi' out, "Den Lawd a yasso wi come fi go dead?  Dead so widout remedy???  Nobaddy else nuh deh pon di road as a witness- Jeesam Peace!!!!!!"
 Den mi poor (younger) brother who looked so bewildered and uncomfortable decided to stop.  He alighted from the vehicle, an' me instinctively falla bakka him-caw 'im one naw go dead so.  When wi look, nuh di po-po(police).  Ah nearly piss up miself when mi tink how long wi a 'void di law!  Gyad oh!  Mi tun fool same time, caw a wha dem cudda want at dis hour yah.
Mi heart nearly stap beat when one a di police mention di word, 'criminal' to 'im squaddy.  Mi staat fi stamma an walk up inna di cyar(sake a nervousness) a let out pure, "eeh? huh? wha?"  Di man dem look pon mi an' KNOW seh mi neva righted.  So dem jus tek di paper dem, give it a quick glance an' den run wi offa di road.

I was sooo weak, especially cuz that area is ridden with violence, there's no telling what could have gone down, and to think there was a killing in that community just days before.
Yuh cudda hear pon news how two young people were in an altercation with lawmen, after which a shootout ensued. Mark yuh, yours truly doesn't own a gun.  Den yuh wudda hear how di bullet weh mi fire wid mi fingatip(pow-pow) nearly graze di police officer dem and in self defense they did what was necessary!!

My GOD!
Ah tell yuh star!  Dat ting was a mess!
Dis yah baking yah haffi KNOW ITS PLACE!  Fi come wreck mi life?  Mi love toto, but nuh so!

Aye, mi gone...

Unno have a good week, yuh hear?
I'll let you know what's up.

Till then,
I am YOUR Jodi-podi!