Rant:Downtown, the delightfully deplorable.

I had an important errand to run in the downtown area on Friday.  Visiting downtown is oftentimes therapeutic for me so I welcomed the opportunity to head on out.

Siddung inna di 22A bus headed fi downtown wid one million, seven 'undred and eighty five t'ousand, two 'undred and sixty seven(1,785,267) pickeney.  Ah dizzy from di counting.  Ribbons everywhere. Puberty inna full swing wid teenage bump a leap outta di pickeney dem pores-woi!  Every strand of hair inna di gyal pickney dem head 'tan up in stric' obedience to di styling gel.  Yuh notice seh yuh rarely see a natural hair pickeney again eida mi shudda tun hairdressa fi mek nuff money or mi fi go mek creme.

One dumb man come on pon di bus a sell peanut cake, drops an' grater cake(yuh did affi look fi know).  Di pickney dem a tease him cause a di likkle funny soun' him a mek-dem nuh fraid? Yes dem bawn areddy, but dem pickney dem nuh bawn yet-anyt'ing possible.

Barry G a play inna background. Dah man yah still deh bout?  Watch ya!  Health foundation at dat! I love JA!  Mi look outta di winda fi divert mi attention from di boring Immaculate high past student pon di radio wid Barry G-a mi alma mater but mi cyaa compromise wid dis young miss-she borin' bad! No support!
Unnu look yah- mi jus see some tiefin' police a check high powered vehicles fi rake in a bribe money-times hard yes.  Ah cyaah manage!
Bike man, truck man, jilapy(jalopy), crissas, everybaddy deh pon road whedda dem have 1/2 tank a gas or it full or di red light weh signify 'empty' a blink inna one hypnotic sequence, whedda dem have insurance or not, buy license or not, everybaddy a travel.

NO! a who poop inna di govament AC yellow bus?  Ah cyaah concentrate-dah poop yah real enuh star!

As mi look up mi si  di Vienna sausage mascot 'Vinnie' pon di billboard wid 'im guitar, mi neva even realize seh ah so sachiz(sausage) ha' talent.

Yuh si dis yah bleach out face gyal yah? When mi seh nepazone, jaze, full strent clorox, wid a splash of Harpic!!!Woy-yo-yoy!

Mi reach downtown-into the heart of the concrete jungle. Mi seh when mi pitch deh mi clearly see why dem call it so, cause a pure doggish, hoggish, animalistic behaviour di people dem a carry on wid.

Di rich aroma of weed permeate the already thick downtown atmosphere.  Mi mek sure mi rehearse what a  composite numba is, lip a jump fi ansa(refer to blog entitled  Inglorious ganja http://whamiseh.blogspot.com/2012/09/inglorious-ganja.html).

If you see di 'mount a people dem weh have on tattoo pon every part of dem anatomy, den dem bleach out dem skin till it thin an' ready fi bruk out inna sore.  NO SAH!!!!!  What is happening????  Den dem siddung inna di sunhot underneat' ten layer of clothes.  Mi spirit grope when mi see dem.  Yuh all a drop an' a 'pread weh how dem false yeyelash dem long an a trip yuh.  Anytime dem blink is a mighty gust of wind blow cross di nation. Why can't we be ourselves?  Mi naw seh wi cyaa augment enuh-caw mi personally like fi tweak here an' there, but altering one's skin tone, mutilating your body parts is beyond normal.  'Pose yuh see piercing?  Everyweh bore up AN LOOK BAD.  If it did look good well...A wah do wi?!?!?!  No mi ask wid all seriousness.

It just want one big sign dung deh fi heng crassway di light post dem weh read-ZOO.  Mi a put it to di Minister of Tourism fi consider showcasing di exotic wildlife weh deh inna di downtown area. Trus mi-dah one yah name Farrin Exchange!  

Encourage yourself

Mi feel down yuh see?   Mi was supposed to go to a programme today but neva got to go.  Mi feel like a sell-out star, then on top of that I baked a VERY special cake for someone who I care about deeply.  He's like a father, no sah,more like an uncle to me.  He was less than impressed and I plummeted, I mean way down.  The thing about that product was that I didn't do it primarily for taste but for nutrient content.  See, this person is chronically ill, so I figured I'd apply my dietetic knowledge to provide something that would enrich his diet and in turn yield health.  I was crestfallen when he said he'd prefered a less healthy one I did previously.  I put my all into that thing (and I pride myself on producing quality cakes)!!!.  Ah man I'm taking it hard.
It's demotivating when you put your all into something and it is met with little enthusiasm.  Although I was paid, it was unrewarding. Strange?
A wonda if mi know seh a nuh everyting mi fi chat pon dis yah open forum yah! An unnu naw share nuttin' back wid me-whoiiiiiii!!!!Mi done, mi cyaah tell yuh no more. A weh yuh gone? Come back man! A wah do yuh?
Mi naw go worry yaw! I did my best-even if it was not good enough for him and he couldn't appreciate the care that I put into it, it's good enough for me.

Sometimes you have to encourage yourself!

I am my owna Jodi tonight!
Yuh haffi go fin' smaddy else tideh!
I'll be yours tomorrow again-jus' need a night off!

Fish is a vegetable!

"Are you a vegetarian?"

"Yes"

"Oh dear, had I known I would have catered some 'veggie meat', I only have fish and chicken"

"I'll have the fish"

"Yeah?" "Aren't you vegetarian?"

"Yeah, but I eat fish, I'm pescatarian!"

"Isn't fish meat?"

"NO, fish is NOT meat"

"But it's a flesh food- a food from an animal"

"No! Fish is fish!"

Fish, in the minds of many vegetarians is an incredibly agile, living, breathing, face-bearing aquatic vegetable.
Fish, one person stated to me, is a food group in and of itself.  The adjusted food groups(based on this person's reasoning) therefore are:

• Staples
• Legumes and Nuts
• Vegetables
• Fish
• Food from Animals
• Fruits
• Fats and oils

(The original Caribbean Six Food groups excludes Fish as a food group, this was added to humour the suggestion but is NO WISE true).  Follow this link for the Caribbean Six Food Groups: http://www.paho.org/english/cfni/six_food_groups.pdf

According to the Caribbean Food and Nutrition Institute, the Caribbean authority on Nutrition information, fish is categorized as a Food from animal owing primarily to the major nutrient it supplies-protein.

The list of types of  'flesh' Foods from Animals are listed categorically below:

• Fish - cod, mackerel, salmon, sardines, snapper, swordfish, trout, tuna
• Shellfish - clams, crab, crayfish, lobster, mussels, oysters, prawns, scallops, squid (calamari)
• Game meats- rabbit, venison(deer)
• Meats - beef, lamb, pork, veal (including liver and kidney)
• Poultry - chicken, duck, goose, turkey (including liver and kidney   

*Non-flesh foods from animals include eggs, milk, cheese, yoghurt etc.

The Nutrition and Dietetic community does not categorize fish as a vegetable, despite the vehement claims by vegetarians that fish is not meat. From a technical standpoint fish is not red meat, neither is it poultry; it is not game or offal(organ meats).  It falls under the category of Fish! Fish? alright-Seafood!

Fish is not a vegetable!  Seaweed is! I'm not saying that the only constituent of the vegetarian diet is derived solely from the Vegetable food group but the assumption is that  the true vegetarian subsists entirely on plant-based foods. 

Fish is lower in saturated fat content than other flesh foods and contains omega 3 fatty acids which is touted for its health benefits, thus fish seems to be the leader of the fleshy Foods from Animals group because of its health promoting effects despite its reported high levels of mercury.  It still doesn't make sense why people claim the title of 'vegetarian' when they are out rightly consuming fish-a flesh food.
Check this- Chicken is lower in saturated fat than red meats such as beef; with this kind of reasoning why can't I be a "poultro-vegetarian"- a vegetarian who eats chicken and turkey(I just coined that one don't research it).  It's the same principle-fish is no less a food from animal than is chicken.  

Vegetarianism is more than a dietary abstinence from flesh foods , it is a philosophical stance rooted in spiritualism.  We must be aware of its meaning before we claim its title.  We'd be better off claiming a plant-based, whole-foods-eating status.

The stringent measures imposed by the vegan community are understandably done because of the degeneration of animals, the method of slaughter and the inhumane treatment of animals during captivity.  Free range foods from animals products(animals reared in open spaces) are choice products.  Research establishes the association between inhumanely slaughtered animals and decreased mental health in humans, listing decreased ability to handle stress and poor management of moods among the effects of its consumption  ...you are what you eat.

Let's avoid labels.  The important thing is that we consume a largely plant-based diet.  If you choose to indulge food from animals occasionally, or daily in limited amounts of the lean variety(skinless) as in the Mediterranean Diet, you will also benefit from lower cholesterol levels, lowered risk of heart disease and other chronic diseases-hypertension and diabetes.

The bible speaks of goat's milk, honey, cheese, and butter-all by-products of animals.  They were staple products in the Israelite diet.  Honey and locusts were prescribed for partakers of the Nazarite vow.  

We are commissioned to "call no man common nor unclean". It creates division and how dare we, when the only scriptural indictment on meat eating was given against consuming blood and organ meats(offal).  Let's just give thanks, eat, belch an' poop!

Mi aggo scale mi green leafy vegetable yah now!

If mi cudda jus' ketch it!  How dis yah veg a run so man-woi! a tyad!  Come 'ere! Y'a go dead tideh!

A cyaah title dah one yah

No brah!!!!!
Mi neva a plan fi pos', BUT when mi buck dis yah news yah, mi haffi renege pon mi promise to miself fi pos' pon wednesday.
Mi a comb di net fi a work when mi come crass dis yah:

Community Peer Educator
Category:	Health
Description:	* HIV/AIDS Prevention & Control Programme: St. Ann and St. Mary  Identifying and visiting Adolescent group, Young Adults, Sex Workers,Workplace and high risk areas/communities. Facilitating and conducting risk reduction sessions with high risk groups. Facilitating and conducting targeted community interventions. Conducting rapid HIV test and counselling sessions per health district
Qualifications:	At least five CXC subjects and/or Diploma in Health Promotion, Education, Social Sciences, Social Work, Marketing, and Community Development. Basic knowledge of HIV/STIs, Behaviour Change, Public Health and Health Promotion Ability to communicate effectively with peers and with people in authority Experience in attending night clubs, bars and exotic clubs
Deadline:	October 12, 2012

A beg yuh view di highlighted carefully.
Mi neva tink mi wudda see di day when dirtiness wudda be an asset-rather-a qualification fi a legit wok!!!!

Tell mi dis!!!!!

Aye sah!

Mi gone yaw!

Lata!

Lifelong learning

I'm lost.  Help me out a little here.

I hear of students enrolled in University switching programmes, an' dem poor parents nuh have it.

Di minute you switch yuh jus gradiate-no cum laude-nuttin.  Wi jus host an informal gradiation wid yuh madda as the commencement speaker, an' wi finish off wid a few slice a toto an' a glass a water.  Dat is in store fi any pickeney of mine who feel like dem wah fi switch OR yuh finance yuh owna education.  Inna dem yah hard times yah yuh nuh know wah fi do wid yuh life?

Prior to enrollment in college we need to carefully assess the decision the child has made.  Is there a market for it? Does the child have the aptitude for it?  Yuh disciplined enough?  Mine yuh en' up a trade school enuh-an dat is not a threat-yuh just might be better off.  No child is dunce.  You just have to find your niche.  Mek wi fin' out before mi staat spen' nuh whole heap a money nuh miss!

Bout inna your third year yuh nuh badda sure- No! yuh betta sure!  Finish it an' tek up someting pon yuh owna finance-pickeny haffi learn responsibility man.  Life nuh go so.

Yuh deh a school fi yuh whole life-put a different spin pon lifelong learning.  Not in my pocket book.

AWOAH!

Dis yah donkey yah bigga dan my back

The proverbial tale of the man carrying a donkey on his back may seem nonsensical (find the Aesop Fable here: http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type1215.html), UNTIL yuh staat fi carry yuh owna dankey.
There are people in your life who you cannot afford to entertain-under ANY circumstance-these are your donkeys.  These people have no ends a prablem-pure crasses, mi mean e-n-d-l-e-s-s of the unsolvable sort.  Did somebody say burdensome?
There is a difference between di donkey dem an' people who are going through life tragedies and need a shoulder to cry on.  Donkeys come een like a recurring nightmare-dem cyaah eva guh weh, dem ever present with the SAME story even after you've provided feasible solutions and have invested hours-nay- days into giving an ear.
There is a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing-a season for everything under the sun.  These people sap the energy from your life with their constant negativity.  You must know when to put an end to a perpetual cycle.  The devil uses these people as henchmen to prevent you from experiencing the fullness of joy you were meant to have-keepin' yuh up all night(wid di digicel 11 till daylight plan weh God neva inspire none-t'all) till yuh yeye bag dem a heng like tief pon crass.  It is not fair!  Yes! you who are stronger must strengthen those who are weak, I am aiming this discourse, however, at the ones who are never going to be alright, those for whom there will never be a sun in the sky.  If you've never encountered such a person-happy are ye, if you have like I have-woe unto you.


You know you are carrying a donkey when:

1. Yuh haffi a dodge people an' when yuh phone a ring yuh heart staat fi beat faas'. No peace!
2. Yuh tyad fi give unheeded advice.
3. Yuh ears a ring sake a di brayin'-they complain endlessly.
4.  They've already made up their mind as to what they are going to do with their life and are trying to convince you to be in agreement with it.  Their obstinate position makes their mental guard impenetrable. Stubban!
5. No Matlock cyaah solve di mysteries dem come wid.
6. Everybaddy roun' yuh a look pan yuh strange.  There is wisdom in counsel.  If those around you think you're being unduly pressured from this source of mental battery, it's probably true.

Tips for de-mounting di donkey from off yuh back:

1. Let them know the effect they're having on your mental health.  If it's bad enough you'll see the merit in taking this stance.
2.Refuse to answer their calls(after you've given them an ultimatum) OR give them a time limit on a call.  eg. "I only have five minutes to spare today.  I'm sorry but I'm really busy". Remember you have a divine responsibility to "protec' yuhself,protec' yuhself"-whatsoever things are good, pure, honest,...think on these things.  Donkey ha' credit enuh people-NUFF!  An dem know how fi stalk yuh prapally, 'bout "oops, we meet again" (did I hear a hee-haw?)jus' happen fi ALWAYS 'bump' into you-heh-dat deh carefully calculated mi fren-RUNNNN!!!!
3. Refer them to a more competent source than yourself.  Acknowledge your limitations-yuh cyaah solve everybaddy's prablems.  Some situations are so deeply rooted in past hurts and complex issues that only skilled clinicians wid di aid of di Trinity can help.

I am in no wise insensitive to human suffering.  I am aware though that I am not entirely equipped or mature enough to handle every single thing thrown my way.  Sometimes yuh haffi bow out gracefully.  That knowledge is empowering.  Furthermore, dankey mek fi bear burden!!!

Feel free to disagree with this post, state your position and let's work it out.

Tek care people and have a GREAT week.
You'll hear from me again soon.

Hugs!

I am your one and only Jodi!(mi nuh bizniss how much Jodi yuh know)

The bake sale report

So I told you that I'd report on the bake sale(refer to Bewildered Baker).

AYE SAH!!!!!
It. Was. Not. A. Success.(by man's standard)  I had no energy whatsoever.  To top it all off, I lost about 1/3 of the products to spoilage-the risky part of selling perishable goods.  Mi haffi go mek some rubba toto yaw!  Awrite I'm tired, you know let me not do this now-rubber toto? really Miss?
This is life-unpredictable! Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
I've had to take heart and submit to that awareness.  Failure is every bit as important as success.  There is an openness in the human spirit that follows failure that allows for deep learning which facilitates understanding.
Whilst I experienced financial loss, I gained morally and mentally.
I'm less afraid of that 'f' word now.  Listen, tek yuh likkle nasty...FAILURE is what I'm referring to.
Losing fear is a huge success in and of itself and the more I fail the more of it I lose which means that the more I fail, the more successful I become.  Makes sense?  I did not sign up with the Weed Head Academy(refer to blog post entitled Inglorious ganja http://whamiseh.blogspot.com/2012/09/inglorious-ganja.html )!!

This business is preparing me for life.  The lessons are transferable.  My love for people has been rekindled and I've discovered new and novel ways of penetrating the market with healthy baked products void of dairy, fat and eggs!!!

A special shout out to Mrs. Mc-Laughlin who taught me this skill. G.r.a.t.i.t.u.d.e.

Well guys pick out what you can from this post-ultimately-commit to juicing life of EVERYTHING it has to offer-E'RTHANG!

Later lil' ones.

I _m y_ur J_di

The wound that heals

This is partly a re-post of a blog I'd posted previously.  It chronicled a lil' heartbreak I'd encountered.

Heartbreak Hotel

"I'm so torn, I can't even cry.  This blog has become my go-to cathartic experience.
Ahhhh!
For a lil' while now, I've been crushing on this dude.  Thing with me is that I crush on people that express interest in me first.  So it was a reciprocated thang.
In my little mind, I thought I was his 'it', you know, the sweetest little thing.  Imagine the HORROR when I discovered this dawg sh#t(Jodi NO! get it together) was just a player,  filling the minds of vulnerable girls with no ends of garbage.  My instincts had warned me.  I just refused to listen.
I feel busted, broken, shattered, just out of it!  I can't even focus.  This nauseating feeling has swept over my soul.  When did I become Leah? #biblical reference
Man I was played big time.  Can't even relate the details. JEEZ!
I just wanted to put this in writing.  It has no resolution yet.
Good thing is, it was only a crush.  Nothing more.  Lord I thank you that you brought it to my attention.  Bugger doesn't yet know that I know.  Hmph!  Well! Life goes on and so must I.

Toodles!

I am your brokenhearted Jodi :-("

A week later, I'm thankful for the experience.  It inspired a song I intend on 'putting out there', it helped shape my perspective on emotional vulnerability-propelling me to a higher sense of caution, responsibility and accountability to myself; my self-worth and value have been restored, best of all, I've reconnected with a God whose friendship is enduring-nothing I do or say will turn Him off of me, cuz His love is unconditional-that's comforting; it builds confidence and trust and I'm better off for this experience.

I'm no longer angry, I've found my peace.  

Look out for the song-it's coming soon.

I'm yours...

Trading on your talents

What do you have in your hand?
No, not necessarily that fork yuh using fi chow dung di large portion of dark green leafy vegetables that you're supposed to be consuming daily(hmmm-right!)
What I mean is, what are your areas of giftedness?
Becoming the best we can be is a divine commission.  We were placed here to develop in every possible way.  Reading the Old Testament has exposed me to God's ideal for His people: Prosperity!  Yeah I said it! Read mi outta church now.  In the parable of the talents found in Matthew 25:13-30, we see the expectation that God has for us-that we should maximize on what he has blessed us with.  We ought to demonstrate stewardship which should yield returns.

This is especially for the unemployed or those whose income may need to be supplemented; what can you do that can serve as an income generating project?
There is no shame in work.  Whatever it may be-as long as it's honest, gratifying and performed with integrity.

I encourage you to take a moment for introspection.  What can you do to increase your potential earnings, and by extension, the quality of your life?

I am your caring Jodi

Inglorious ganja?

Mi Seh!
Mi mek likkle sales to mi neighbour dem here an' dere.  Decided to venture dung di road likkle further and ran into a few old classmates and an old friend from primary school.
Hennyhoo-as mi bruk di corner fi head dung di stretch fi deliver mi lifesavin' toto, nuh a line a weed head man mi see string off pon di side a di road.  So mi pass quietly an' gi' out a courteous "goodnight".  Di head of di weed head council, mi know caw him have di bigges' spliff an' him look di frassest seh to mi-"Hey, gi' mi a minute".  Now mi KNOW SEH dat deh OUT!  Mi naw stop inna no dark alley wid dem deh-fi come proselytize mi.  So mi pick up speed.  Hear him a call out wid urgency now, "Gimme a minute man", when mi reach a safe distance mi tell him fi holla out di request.
Hear di man to mi, "What is a composite number?"
WHOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I laugh so till I nearly dead caw mi cuddn' believe seh a dat deh height of meditation weed cudda tek yuh.  But mi stop laugh when mi realize seh mi never know(or memba) di ansa.  An fi tink seh mi reasonably educated-g'a college an' ting (an' dat is g-sat requirement stuff).  Mi staat fi feel shame.  So mi haffi run come a mi yaad an' google it.
Mi seh- look yah now-mi nuh waa none a unnu a walk pon di road an' any random weed head posit dese deep scientific questions pon unnu unawares.  Get in the know!  Lawd hav' mercy-ah cuddn' believe!  Dem seh out of the mouth of suckling babes?  Mi seh out of the mouths of weed heads!  Mi shudda sign up fi extra lessons from di Weed Head Academy.  Mi wudda prabably be betta off.

See it yah! http://www.mathsisfun.com/definitions/composite-number.html

Composite Number	more ...
A Composite Number can be divided evenly by numbers other than 1 or itself. Example: 9 can be divided evenly by 1, 3 and 9, so 9 is a composite number. But 7 can only be divided evenly by 1 and 7, so 7 is NOT a composite number (it is a Prime Number).

Mi give tanks to His royal "Highness"  fi bringing di awareness an' instilling in me the import of remembering foundational concepts.  This is not about composite numbers alone enuh people.  Is life!  Tek time out fi review past lessons, and walk with the gems of wisdom so you'll always be ready to give an answer in defense of  your philosophical stance in life.

Tek care mi peops!

Mi tell unnu all the time-unnu wah hear again-I am YOUR Jodi!
Satisfied?

Bewildered Baker

Hmph!
Is jus' a matta of time before this blog comes full circle back to di Toto ting.  Now, me did plan fi have one hell-ebba( hell-of-a) bake sale.
Mi puddung a piece a baking yuh see?
Mi siddung yah inna mi room a try nuh fi despondent caw- 'pose yuh see RAIN!!!!!!
Lawd Jeezam, a how dis aggo go?
Who aggo trudge tru di rain fi come buy puddn'?
Aye-ya-yay!

A beg yuh hol' on fi di report.

Lata boos!

The Virtuous Woman

When I think 'virtuous woman', I instinctively think of a virginal little lady waiting patiently on a partner.  At least, that's the idea that has been promulgated especially to young Christian women.  

The Virtue debate: Virgin vs. Pure

Just to digress a bit (as I often do-pray for my brain y'all), virgin is not the same as pure.  The two may in many cases not even be mutually inclusive.  The fact is, many persons are virgins simply because of lack of opportunity to engage in sexual activities whether because of tight security forces called parents or guardians, or because insecurities create a mental barrier that prevents sexual expression.  There are yet others who decide to save themselves for their husbands as we are commanded to do in the scriptures.  Engaging in sexual practices such as kissing(wait! yuh neva know!), mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex and other creative methods of circumventing full-blown "sex" does not disqualify one from claiming the title of virgin based on the dictionary's definition of 'virgin' which defines this individual as," A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse"-that is sexual penetration.    
Your mental state plays an important role in determining your status as pure or impure.  What about persons who have been forced against their will to perform sexual activity yet maintain a circumspect position?  What do we call them? PURE!  A distinction should be made.  Virginity is celebrated even though it may not be grounded in the core trait-purity.  My exhortation is that whatever our status, we commit to purity as the foundation of our sexuality.  Purity is what we should advocate.  NOTE WELL-Even when married, we are expected to maintain purity which would include fidelity as a core tenet.  It also means that our sexual practices would meet heaven's approval.  Huh? Yup!  That's why I believe we should all know God well before we commit to any relationship, you see, we like to put God in a box like seh Him a one PC or doughnut-dat cyaah wok.  If we knew Him, we wouldn't be afraid to approach Him regarding our sexuality and pray that He inspires creativity and awe in our sexual expression.    We speak too little about these things, we are as sexual a being as we are spiritual and might I add that they are both inextricably related.

As I prayerfully contemplated my life's direction one day, I reverted to Proverbs 31 for clarity(that's where the biblical qualification of a virtuous woman is located).  I was stunned when I did not see ONE sexual reference.  As I stated in the intro...my thoughts on virtue were linked to sexual abstemiousness.  Imagine when I saw that the virtuous woman was an entrepreneur!!!  Shock-ment-alization!  Yeah?  This biblical woman was so busy meeting her family's needs, increasing wealth and ensuring her household's wellness, that she had no time for folly.  I took it to heart.  This is the message that needs to be heralded to young women.

Proverbs 31 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=KJV
 Let us strive for God's ideal by adopting a business-like approach to our life tasks.

Love u guys!
Catch u later!

I am your tired (but loving) Jodi

Hugs!

He's got the whole world...

Ever wished you could google your life?  (Don't leave me hanging-Please say yes!)  It's just sometimes I wonder what's in store for me-my anxieties get the better of me in those seasons I suppose.  I think it's better I not see it-perhaps I'd want to fast forward some parts, other parts I'd probably try to prolong, I'd make a whole mess of it...that's why God is in charge and not me.
I've endured trying times I thought would never pass.  Today I look in retrospect at periods that seemed unconquerable and I can't even remember the pain.  God's grace does have a numbing effect.  I'm so happy that one season doesn't last forever.
What's up with you?  Everything ok?  If not, it will be.  Shakespeare's right-All's well that ends well.  Scripture reiterates-he that endures to the end, he shall be saved.
Let's hold on...a lil' while longer.  God's building spirituAL MUSCLE.(A wah do da caps button yah man? mi naw delete it enuh!)  Let's press guys, press towards the mark of the high calling of God in Jesus our Lord.
Wi naw worry, implicit trus' wi seh!  No wavering-feet planted in the Divine.
Awright people.
Mi gone y'hear.

We'll link soon.
Yeah man-I am still your Jodi-dat naw change.

Bless!

Of bottoms and books...

I want to share a struggle that I'm having- a real mental battle-and I suppose putting it all out there will umm...(hisses teeth)yuh know wah mi mean. Cho yaw!
Our society values education-highly.  "Education is key" is right up there with "Repent and be converted"(we're also a very spiritual nation) alongside "Don't scratch your bottom in public"(???-maybe not that one, but I wish that were a popular one).  Let me digress a little bit to express my concern for our public health and safety.  We'll labour on that 'bottom scratching' point a little bit.  Now having taken a course in microbiology for my undergraduate programme, I am  all too keen on the microscopic units that threaten our lives and safety.  We live in a world where there is but scant regard for hygiene and sanitation.
Check this scenario-yuh jump in a taxi inna yuh hot clothes-yuh bade and smell fresh.

•  finger nail clean?-check! 
• back-a-ears wipe dung an' earshole de-waxed?-check!
• foot back lotion?-check
• powder pon ches'?-hopefully NOT check!-yuh too ghetto!woi!
• clean underwear?-check!
• everyting else in tact?-check!

After yuh put in all a dat effort, one sour smaddy usually grossly overweight sitting on your right just spread dem jelly all inna yuh paats-complete wid sweat and odour.  Mi personally nuh like people body juices a drip pon mi enuh-nuh when mi go di extra mile. Den imagine seh di man pon di leff jus' come offa him site work an' green like a callaloo patch.   People a dig out dem buggu an' a give di taxi man dem fare.   Di taxi man dis release a gallon a *orange-bag-juice-coloured(thanks Carla)*pee-pee pon di side a di road, jump inna di taxi fi mek yuh change- an' a pure coin yuh a get back. Look yah! Is a miracle wi alive!

Nuh badda venture inna food preparation 'cause yuh naw go recova from di heart attack-tank God fi what we do not know!

Hennyhoo-ah nuh teeven dis mi come on fi talk bout enuh.  (Side note) Mi miss unnu tideh so till.  Unnu miss me?  Yuh too lie!

Wha mi waa' talk bout is the pursuit of advanced degrees in this season of job-lessness.  

I'm being encouraged to pursue an advanced degree.  Now hear dis, since mi graduate over a year ago, I've not been placed in the gov't position I've been promised.  The economic climate is...yes, harsh!  As such, if one is not entrepreneurial in mindset-dawg nyam yuh AN' yuh suppa!  Breaking into any industry is no mean task.   It requires everything you have and a little bit more.  Succinctly, I have no time for books. None whatsoever.  But wouldn't the advanced degree provide better job opportunities, one may ask?  WHICH JOB???  Having your own effort is the most prudent thing one can do for oneself.  Amidst all the banter I feel like I just need to settle into the fact that I'm my own boss-not just for now-for life!

This stream of consciousness is not for everyone.  I'm a little bit offbeat-no, maybe a lot-so it works for me.  I guess I want to openly state my purpose, it's not that I lack ambition, but I see myself being of more usefulness by putting my shoulder to the wheel.  My profession doesn't yield the clientelle that I anticipated but everybody haffi eat- so I market healthy products.  I refuse to surrender my passion for Nutrition and Dietetics, I'm taking the unconventional route to engage that discipline.

I walked on NCU campus yesterday and felt a gut-wrenching pain because I know there aren't enough jobs for these kids to fill, and I know the struggle they have in coming up with tuition(mi know caw dem cyaah afford mi toto).  Aye sah!

I believe every family should instill entrepreneurial  values in the home.  That is something I'm very passionate about.  Each child should be taught how to raise money "because these are some serious times, all I can see...."

Love you guys!

Share your thoughts.

I'm whose Jodi?

Yours!

See u soon!

Toto village: a place called Mandeville

Whew!  Mi praperly tired! mm-mm!  Mi naw lie, dem ya higglering wok yah nuh easy at all!  Props to all higglers out there-NUFF RESPEC'(don't tief di big up if you are not a higgler-we are an exclusive community).  As a junior hustler learning the ropes mi a tell yuh man, is a lot of hit an' misses and unrelenting perseverance.

So mi ride come today.  Hip hip?.....Finish it, das rite- hooray!
Mi leff out wid mi hamper full of goodies- coconut drops, banana pudding, bread pudding and the infamous TOTO(big up!-my absolute fave!).  Today would be a special day though 'cause I'd have an entourage to lend support.
Four a wi(Le-Noi, Oshaine, mi cousin Claudia an' miself) a pace di campus a look fi any crusty lip pickeney fi wipe out di white squawl epidemic wid di products. Le-Noi provided the muscle-a carry roun' di bag, Oshaine a market di ting dem an' wi pimp out Claudia wid har hot self fi soften the groun' before wi hit di target dem, me scout out an' drive home di sale.  What a team!  A who seh Fantastic Four?  So mi seh too.
Yes sah!
 Mi realize seh a pride did a hol' mi back from hittin' the market the right way.  Listen! Hear mi good!  Dis pride ting CYAAH work enuh!!! NO!  Pride undergirds fear which limits our potential for growth, exploration, and attainment of goals.  It prevents us from living in enlightenment and prosperity.  We must abandon this most ruinous trait if ever we are to become our best selves.  So mi staat look pon everybaddy as a prospec'.  Mi approach everybaddy.  Di ting is, di people who mi was most skeptical about was the people who supported me the most.  Wha mi seh?  JUDGE NOT!!!  An' di smaddy dem who me SURE bout a di one dem weh naw seh nuttin'-what a ting!  Wi cyaah mek wi ill-guided perceptions guide wi reality, because wi miss out on perfectly wonderful opportunities to extend ourselves.
I especially enjoyed today because the focus was different.  I engaged my inner Dietitian and enhanced my sales pitch with some heartfelt Nutrition Education.  I fell in love with the prospects and so whether or not they purchased anything at all our encounter was fulfilling.
I don't know what the future holds but I'm willing to learn life  lessons every single day(and I intend on sharing them with you-yuh can share too enuh-das why dere is a comments section below-nuh badda mean up wid di ting).  I'm not sure how I'll maintain my Mandeville market but I'm taking each day as it comes.

Let me use this as an opportunity to encourage you in whatever endeavour you may be strongly considering or may be embarking on, to do so with your whole heart, mind, soul and spirit.
The other day I thought about how some people sell their bodies(like how mi did haffi pimp out dear Claudia today-yuh know it's hard out here for a ____What?If you watched Hustle and Flow you know), then others sell their souls, I figure if we all have to sell something then I may as well sell my spirit.  That's something I'm comfortable with.
May this blog serve as a source of spiritual renewal(an' spiritual nuh mean Bible alone).  Mi want unnu fi know seh we can all mek it- even when things haad an' times tough.

Mi gone a mi bed...someting spicy a come up.  U jus' wait fi di pos'.

Tek care mi childrens.

Tank yuh Le-Noi!  Tank yuh Oshaine!  Tank yuh Claudia(bow-chica-wow-wow)!  Mi cuddn' do it widout unnu!

Much love to you all in blogland.

I am who? Your Jodi!

Be blessed.....

Oh and yes! mi did sell off!!!!!

All the Weigh to Ideal

No!  This is not another cloying (or clidin' rather) toto post.  I'm sure you can almost taste the toto by now!  No man dis blog is not about so-so toto.  Sorry to disappoint.  Today features a synopsis of my weight journey.  Wait! It is interesting, if yuh ever click offa di page widout reading it yuh see!  Ah find yuh an...(fill in the blanks) yuh!

As a few of you already know, I'm a Registered Dietitian by profession.  An area of significant interest is Weight Management.  Whilst this area is riddled with challenges, the rewards of successful intervention is incomparable.
So dis chica here-me- has been testing my own meal planning skills on myself and have committed to regularised physical activity-eh eh.
I started the year with a three day water fast-ingesting nothing but water for three days-yes mi did feel like mi waah dead-but completed that journey successfully.  That experience served as a "reset" for my badly deteriorated appreciation for nutritious foods.  My nutrition diagnosis, even from the perspective of a trained Dietitian was: Disordered Eating. WHA?! Nuh badda confuse it with eating disorders now.  The former alludes to improper timing of meals and inappropriate food choices.  But mi did have it bad: only chocolate and banana chips mi a eat from morning till night, wid maybe some ice-cream, Captain's doughnuts and strawberry lasco(college days) in between.  How mi live so long Lord?
Hennyhoo, this reset accomplished its intended purpose and I began craving foods that provided superior nutrition.  Pure whole foods mi a eat.  I began losing weight simply by engaging my new appetite.  Then di bombshell-di braces-NO SAH!  Dah one deh staat out rough!  When mi seh mi appetite did  ravenous enuh man, but di teet' cuddn' mek di journey!  Mi memba day 2 afta di braces did bonded to mi teet', mi hungry nuh dawg enuh man, an' di teet' dem sensitive from di pressure.  Mi staat get cross an' a pure naughtiness a swim roun' inna mi head-tank God fi Jesus mek dem neva cum out. Ah!  Mi haffi come affa di road an' come home-'pose yuh see how mi staat fi drink dung di rice grain dem like a wata.  Man, di grain dem guh dung whola, an' di reason mi know ah caw di nex' time mi see dem, dem whola same way(use yuh imagination).  Needless to say my weight loss accelerated. Series of subsequent events promoted increased weight loss and 20 lbs lighter, I now stand at my ideal body weight.
At 5 ft, 4 in., I am 120lbs. Applause?  Mi nuh know enuh, CAW, whilst I feel good, no jiggles or wiggles, some paats of my anatomy a SUFFA!!!!
No sah, mi haffi confess unnu know seh mi neva blessed wit 'back' inna di firs' place, now, hmph, it feel like mi have some electrical shaats inna di leff cheek of my gluteus minimus-di whole a mine is a minimus situation! Good!  Mi a feel one jabbin' pain in deh man, an den, di hip area is subject to a lot of trauma.  Today for instance, di van door clabba mi pon mi side an' a tell yuh-a angels weh excel in might stop Spanish Town from bun dung wid di fire weh nearly ignite when di two surfaces graze dem one anedda. mm-mm-mm. Mercy! WOW!
I dunno(said in my farrin voice).  This journey to the ideal weight has led me to inquire- a who come up wid dis yah calculation yah, caw fi mi baddy a pay di dividends.   I mean, I feel well, but do I look well?  Pants bottom a sag worsara-no sah!  Outside of that, I have the energy and confidence to move about with(clears throat) "vim, vigour and vitality".  If anyone is able to tell me who was just quoted, you'll be entitled to a free slice of toto*wink*.
 Maybe if I alter my fitness routine to build more muscle(and do less cardio), I'll have more protection from the elements-mother nature mi naw play, caw right now I'm a walking hazard.

Let me know how you felt at your ideal body weight (if you've ever been at that weight or close to it) and if you think it's realistic.  Jeli, and Le-Noi agreed with Geoff in the comment section of a previous post that I should employ some real bad man tactics and threaten to kill you if you don't accede to my requests.  Don't. test. me.  A Spanish Town mi grow. Awoah!

To calculate your ideal body weight:
Women-100lbs for first 5 feet + 5 lbs per inch after that. eg. Me 5 ft, 4 inches-100lbs +4inches*5=120lbs

(This is for medium frame, if you're big boned add 10 lbs, if small frame, minus 10 lbs from the medium frame calculation).

Men-106lbs for first 5 feet + 6 lbs for every inch after that eg. Liddle bwada(that's my bro's nickname)-5 ft, 10 in.-106+6*10=166lbs.

(This is for medium frame, if you're big boned add 10 lbs, if small frame, minus 10 lbs from the medium frame calculation).

If, like Geoff or Le-Noi you are above 6 ft, just multiply the inches over 5 ft by 6 lbs eg. 6 ft 2 in. would be 106(for first 5 ft)+14 in.(12 +2) *6=mi cyaa badda fi go find calculator now enuh star, cho.(Jeopardy music) Person who calculate dis win a slice of banana bread, no yaw, mi a dash weh my business, see it yah, see it yah-190lbs. woo-hoo!  I won me a slice of my own cake-yayyyyyy!!!!!!

So we'll chat soon then.  I miss ya already.  Soon come back.

Love you too!
Read, enjoy, follow.

I AM YOUR JODI

Anedda Progress Report..di las' one, mi promise!

People!  Body.Come.Dung!  Lawd gosh man!  But the blog must go on...wha mi seh?

I had some toto remaining from last evening. NO, no, no!  Mi neva seh dem stale, yuh bright! Hmph!
I left out with Mommy again inna mi merino an' a bermuda shorts wid piece a di trimmin' tear dung, and my disheveled hair in a low bun-a hot mess(plus mi neva did bade-jus' did haffi run out same way-gweh! mi did bade late last night!  Yuh tink yuh easy?  Like seh yuh neva do it too-all when y'a go work, so nuh badda teeven try. AWOAH)!  Rambling much?
Hennyhoo, we had a hard time getting sales today.  One man look like him ready fi buss a Chuck Norris jump kick inna mi ches' when mi mention di word 'buy' or a did 'sell'?  In any case him neva interested in buying wha mi didda sell.  Mi shame yes, but mi press along to further insults.  Mi get a good dose too BUT 'tis life, yes?
We ended up giving a few of the totos away much to the recipients' delight and much to my dismay...um..how mi aggo seh it widout looking like mi mean? Um.. much to my...(insert appropriate word).
I'm here reflecting on the dynamic events that mark my life.   Life has dealt its cards and at this stage in the game I'm a college trained higgler, peddler, entrepreneur-there we go,  move an' gweh, it betta dan tief!
WHOI!!!!  Mi love unnu yuh see!  Having an audience to express the vicissitudes of my life is cathartic and makes me feel supported.  I'm awed at how resilient the human spirit is-even my human spirit, aye sah.  Necessity is the mother of all inventions, I say adversity is the father of all self-discovery. Look yah! unnu betta quote mi, or else mi wi buss unnu shut.  Ahem.  The life lessons learned from embarking on these peculiar experiences are of inestimable value.
I am sooo tired right now I feel like I need a dip inna di healing stream.  Oh! no, a bade mi waah bade.
Mi gone before fly staat pitch.

P.S.  I'll be doing a batch of Totos and Banana Bread on Sunday.
Mi naw go learn?
I'll let you know how it goes.

Toodles!

I AM YOUR JODI

Progress report...Toto Disappointment

After being initially distraught by today's proceedings, my mom suggested that I gather up the fragments of my brokenness, bitter disappointment,  fear and confusion and, despite my ultra tired state, "push out" to see what could be accomplished.
Meanwhile some uber excited Jehovah's witnesses decided to stop on by with the the good news of salvation or..selling books..or something, chile I don't know!!!!  I was so busy moping and groping that I could not even hear what they were saying.  I didn't entertain them, and then it dawned on me AFTER they'd gone-why yuh neva sell dem yuh toto! (Touch your neigbour, say LATE!)  But nuh worry dat naw ketch mi again. Every Jehovah's witness haffi buy my toto before mi look pan dem Watchtower magazine.  Awoah!
So...I gathered up the fragments, and wearily jumped into mom's vehicle and rode with her into the unknown with two large bags full of toto(for those who aren't aware-toto is a Jamaican pastry made with coconuts, flour, sugar and raisins bearing the texture of a shortcake).
We went to the market to get some produce and got a couple toto sales in, however, I had to sell the products far below my intentional price-look yah-nuh badda come try fi find me inna di market fi get di goods dem cheap!  Dat was an ATYPICAL experience!!! Cho!
Di. people. dem. love.di.toto.  Wha mi seh?  Bwoy star, ting boos' mi confidence.  Moral a di story: yuh ever hear da phrase yah, "every disappointment is an appointment with the Almighty"?  Well, a true!
I broke into a new market-literally and figuratively and met some awesome people.  Now new things are on the horizon *wink**wink*.  No not man ting!  Whappen to unnu, business mi a talk.  Goodness!!!
So mi mek a few sales yes!  I feel positive about the future of the business-see we never have to be hung up on one thing, one idea, one way of doing things.  Disappointments occur to shake us from out of that mold and get us thinking creatively which pushes us into new environments and frees us to be more than we ever knew we could be.  PHILOSOPHY!!!!Touch your neighbour, say DEEP! Aye sah!
Well, there's more coming up so stay tuned.  Mi haffi live it before mi can write it so..patience!
I know you can hardly wait until I come back.  I'll miss y'all too.
Back in a minute!
Wait, wait, before mi go, mi aggo upload one picture of mi toto soon y'hear?
Look out fi it!

Wha mi aggo do now Lawd?

I've been working to build my own little business-a baking business.  I've watched it grow from a little "eeny, beeny" endeavour to a bigger eeny, beeny endeavour.  I've had lows and highs, and today is one of those "what in God's green earth is going to happen next?" kinda days.  Aye sah!
I had arranged to go to Mandeville to supply my new market with "Healthy Totos".  Mi seh! Mi weak out when mi realise seh mi ride naw come fi mi.  An' is a whole heap a baking mi puddung.  Miss? Sir! Mi haffi run come start dis yah blog ya same time fi keep mi sanity. WHOI!  What to do?  Good Lord what to do?  Di thoughts weh a go thru my mind right now...a all a mi money mi invest back inna dis batch enuh.  Lawd have mercy-ah weak!  Wait, wait..mi madda jus' tell mi seh she get a sale fi mi outside.  Look like market come a town.  Well, well, mi aggo hit di road right here (insert address) an' see what happens.  I will fill y'all in on what happened.  Pray dat I sell off!!!!!!!